5 – Vibrating Harry Potter Broom,
- You would think that someone would have been able to see the problem with putting a vibrating object between kid’s legs but apparently nobody at Mattel noticed.
- The product caused quite a stir after parents noticed that their little girls were spending a little too much time with the vibrating stick. Adult shops were soon stocking the magic broom for adults who I’m guessing were just too embarrassed to buy an actually vibrator.
- The toy was pulled from shelves and Amazon were sent angry emails about stocking the item along with some hilarious reviews of the product that were mostly deleted. Mattel really should have been more vigilant about selling you your child’s first masturbation aide.
4 – 1979 Alien Toy Line,
- A horror film that has people vomiting in the cinema is a perfect candidate for a toy line because Y’know its sci-fi…
- Because of the Star Wars effect, almost every Sci-Fi movie or TV show got an action figure line…regardless if it had mouth rape creatures and exploding chest births. Kenner, who had produced the Star Wars figures believed they had another hit on their hands and started the line with an 18 inch tall Xenomorph figure.
- However poor sales and complaints from parents about the terrifying figure lead to a whole 3.75 inch line of figures being scrapped. Considering adults were having problems with the content of Alien it’s not hard to see why children wouldn’t flock to a chestbursted John Hurt toy.
3 – Jar Jar Binks Lollypop,
- Yes that disturbing bit of merch that took number 1 spot on our “dumbest movie merchandise” list is back to haunt your nightmares.
- Thinking that Jar Jar was going to be the break out character of 1999, companies producing merchandise for Episode 1 apparently thought break out meant make out. Because kids are really going to want to suck on the tongue of Jar Jar so badly that we need to have this on shelves.
- Recently the actor that played Binks mentioned his reaction to seeing the lollypop for the first time, quoted as saying “I saw that thing and ran”. Which really is the appropriate response.
2 – Django Unchained Dolls,
- Now Tarantino films have been getting dolls and toys for adult collectors for a while but Django Unchained was a step too far according to the public.
- Causing quite a stir upon release, the dolls were deemed inappropriate and even racist. Some outraged folk seemed to be under the impression that these were for kids simply because they were in doll from rather than a figure because adults don’t collect dolls.
- The dolls skyrocketed in price as NECA decided to pull the line because of the controversy and eBay eventually banned the items being sold on the site due to complaints. Remember its okay to sell violent characters to children but not to adults.
1 – Fight Club Soap,
- A film about giving up the material world to pursue better form of life? Well goddamn we need to sell as much stuff around that as we can.
- In concept there is nothing wrong with the Fight Club branded soap, it in itself is harmless. But when you take into consideration what the film is about it seems contradictory that a fan of the film would buy something so pointless.
- Its very existence undermines the film’s message making it an oddity of film merchandise. If Tyler Durden was with us now he’d be calling this shit out and getting us to bomb some buildings…actually maybe we should be undermining that message.
Pages: 1 2