10 Lies Parents Tell their Children


From concealing the fate of your old dog Rex to killer candy, we look at 10 lies parents tell their children.

10 – This is Chicken,


  • Children are probably the most picky eaters on the Earth. They won’t eat anything new so just lie.
  • I mean chicken tastes like everything so those little idiots won’t know. The internet is full of people telling how they deceived their children into eating fish by calling it Argentinian Chicken or similarly the guy who was told calamari rings were “Italian onion rings”.
  • Which if you kid is that closed minded to eating new things then just order them chicken nuggets…then again that probably isn’t chicken either.

9 – The Car isn’t Starting Till you put your Seatbelt on Timmy!


  • When you’re a kid, everyday machines can seem like they run on absolute magic. Which explains why some parents can get away with this bold face lie.
  • Getting kids to engage with those things that are going to save their lives if you smash into a wall is apparently quite difficult. That’s where this brilliant piece of deception comes in, just tell your kids the car won’t start unless everyone’s wearing their belts.
  • It won’t help them further down the line when they need to fix their car but at least it will make sure they get to an age to be humiliated by buying your BS.

8 – Rex is living a fun, full life on a farm and no you can’t visit him…it’s far away,


  • Death is hard concept to explain to a child, so instead of that we will just lie through our teeth about it.
  • If you have ever come home from school to find that your dog is missing then you probably heard this lie shortly after. Obviously used to ease the grieving process mainly because death is hard to deal with at any age and your dad is still probably crying about it.
  • But it leads to a nasty surprise when years later these kids finally put two and two together, giving them a case of the blues along with a sever mistrust whenever something disappears when they are at school.

7 – They Don’t Allow Kids There,


  • Every child under 10 knows that some places are just damn prejudice against children.
  • However we aren’t talking about peep show theatre but that fancy restaurant your parents are going to while you get stuck with the evil babysitter. See it’s not because your parents want a break because you’re annoying, it’s because the restaurant hates you and all other kids.
  • Well who wants to go to a restaurant that doesn’t want your kids there? Parents trying to recapture some bedroom magic before they have to consider divorce, that’s who.

6 – We’ll Come Back another Day,

Boy Crying in Toy Store

  • Anyone who has been dragged out of a playground or toy store knows the pain of this clear bullshit.
  • Used by parents to get kids away from whatever fun thing is currently happening in front of them, we have all been told we’d come back sometime in the future. But the truth is they have no damn intention of coming back to that place because they hate fun.
  • Giving kids false hope and that they can trust in what their parents say is probably damaging in some kind of way… Hmm probably explains all those trust issues I have.


  • Epic (52%)
  • No (14%)
  • Creepy (13%)
  • Lewd (11%)
  • Wat (10%)