10 of the Dumbest Cosplay

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From Fail-or Moon to reject Robocops, we look at 10 of the dumbest cosplay.

  1. Sailor Moon Fail

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  • This Sailor Moon fail is not a matter of his outfit and more a matter of aesthetics.
  • I’d ask where Luna is, you remember Sailor Moon’s cat? But it’s pretty obvious he ate her. I mean, that’s the only way this guy is getting any pussy. And nothing says female empowerment quite like a sweaty man.
  • I feel like this guy is what would happen if Sailor Moon had a one night stand with Peter Griffin. And that offspring was transgendered and beardy.
  1. Space Marine

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  • This guy is trying to be a badass space marine for our god emperor but he looks more like an off-brand Autobot.
  • The iconic Warhammer 40K class that sweats testosterone and crushes enemies underfoot is here reduced to the boxes you crushed into your recycling bin last night.
  • Maybe he’s actually from an Eastern European-Tabletop knock-off game. “In Soviet Space Russia, cardboard box car better than metal, more bendable is more good. Can be put in stew.” Better luck next time compadre.
  1. Fat-man

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  • If you thought George Clooney’s nipple-y bat-suit was disturbing, then you may want to look away now.
  • If Bruce Wayne is gonna walk around shirtless then he should lay off the burgers. This down-and-out version is as close as you’re gonna get to modern day Val Kilmer reprising the role of Gotham’s dark knight.
  • This is like if Gotham’s criminals had all been defeated and Bruce Wayne lost all motivation. “What’s the point Alfred? Why bother when everybody leaves me anyway? First my parents die, then Robin goes back to the circus. All my enemies are dead or in prison.” He’s not the hero America needs, but he’s the hero they deserve.
  1. Green Lantern

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  • The only thing worse than the ‘Green Lantern’ film, is this guy’s outfit.
  • Donning what appears to be green cello paper glued to his chest and white face, I’d say there’s little chance anyone is going to guess what this guy is supposed to be. Hell if you saw him on the street you’d assume he’s escaped from the local loony bin.
  • As bad as this outfit is, it’s only slightly worse than Green Lantern’s costume in the film. Poor Ryan Reynolds. At least he gets to bang Blake Lively and make mega bucks, so there’s some respite.
  1. Robo-nop

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  • Here we have what would happen if someone attempted to create Robocop in modern day Detroit.
  • Trading in his Kevlar coated body for something that wouldn’t stop a BB gun, this is the true future of law enforcement. None of that high tech stuff, no you can be the spitting image of Alex Murphy just using the stuff in your mom’s kitchen.
  • With tin-foil legs and oven pans for armor, “Dead or alive, you’re cooking with me.” But you just know the ladies go wild for this guy, “You have 20 seconds to surrender, dat ass!”

 

  1. Dodgy Ninja Turtles

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  • These guys look more like the creature from the black lagoon than the ninja turtles.
  • With costumes made of what looks like green garbage bags and sello-tape, these cock-eyed mutants are haunting as fuck. Rather than fighting crime, this gang might molest you in an alleyway.
  • Which is no wonder considering the ninja turtles only know one woman and it’s a banging hot woman. No wonder they’re all addicted to pizza, it must’ve been a euphemism for masturbation.
  1. The Thing

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  • Well here’s the only one on this list that can be deemed truly fantastic…and by fantastic I mean god awful.
  • But that’s what we’ve come to expect from anything related to the Fantastic Four these days and this Thing costume is no different. I’ll give it points for originality and hilarity but jeez kid you couldn’t at least colour the Styrofoam orange?
  • Still it’s better than the film we got last year. I’d rather watch this kid run around saving cats from trees for 90 minutes than sit through that again.
  1. Iron Man

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  • This off-brand Iron Man is brought to you by crepe paper and sello-tape.
  • This outfit would be endearing when it’s on a 4 year old. But on a 28 year old man it’s just sad. But hey maybe it’s Iron man from an alternate reality where he’s got an IQ that’s 100 points lower and he’s 100 billion dollars poorer.
  • I’m sure that’s a comic everyone will want to read. It could even come with a special first issue crepe paper foil cover. “The Tale of Iron Man, the Anti-Vaxxer”
  1. Captain Planet & the Planet-tears

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  • Man, Captain Planet used to buff as fuck. Letting himself go wouldn’t look so bad if it weren’t for the food stains down the front of his shirt.
  • After the show was cancelled, CP obviously rationalized, “The economy’s bad. I can’t afford that organic shit.” Then made himself comfortable at a Carls junior.
  • But this guy is the perfect illustration of where that 90s can-do environmentalism went to die. “With your powers combined, I can ruin your childhood.”
  1. Mystique

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  • The undeniably beautiful Mystique is less than her magnificent self in this instance.
  • Ok that’s putting it nicely but of all the forms she could take, I don’t think she’d pick this one. Even if she were undercover, I doubt ‘heavy-set ginger in patchy blue body paint’ would be her first option.
  • Bless Jebus that he’s wearing speedos though. I do not need to add “blue penis” to the list of things burned into my retina. Ok I can’t look at this stuff anymore guys, it’s giving me an anti erection. Like, it’s going back into my body. I may need to see a doctor.

 

 

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