- From loveable mad scientists actually being suicidal to a something that could save a Shyamalan film we look 10 scariest movie theories.
10 – Harry Potter and the Child Abuse Fantasy,
- Well this one isn’t very pleasant, everyone’s favourite boy wizard is actually not that at all and is just a kid going insane under the stairs?
- Well at least that’s what this theory states with those believing it saying “oh no Harry just invented the whole magic world to deal with his psychotic guardians”. Basically saying that because all of Harry’s injuries are ones like broken arms and grazed skin it must be evidence of the child abuse he is suffering entering his delusion.
- Really it’s not hard to see how this one came about I mean what’s more realistic, an owl is delivering his mail or he is getting beaten senseless by his uncle every night. You decide.
9 – Doc Brown tries to kill himself,
- Building a time machine got you down? Selling off your fortune and being the town laughing stock giving you the blues? Well just buy a DeLorean and smack some crazy shit on it and run yourself over!…..wait what?
- This theory uses the scene where Doc first tests the time machine and drives it at 88 MPH towards himself using a remote control. Why would you drive an experimental car towards you unless you wanted to die if it failed to work right?
- Fair enough, I’d want to die if my magic DeLorean didn’t work too. Still bit of a dick move as he would have killed Marty as well who’s standing right next to him…or maybe that was his plan….
8 – Skynet Planned EVERYTHING,
- So you know how the Terminator films are chronologically fucked up and how Skynet seems like it should have been able to wipe out the resistance easily…well this theory says it’s all part of the plan that we puny humans can’t understand.
- So the theory goes that without humanity, Skynet and its massive military complex is useless without a resistance to fight. Oh and that they also knew that they needed to send terminators back in time to create themselves. Which means they also needed the humans to go back to destroy the terminator and timey wimey magic Skynet is its own grandfather.
- It’s scary to think that no matter what the machines will win and keep the humans in a perpetual hellish war ravaged world. At least the machines in the matrix had the decency to put the humans in virtual reality. Skynet’s a dick.
7 – Toy Story 3 is actually about the holocaust,
- What do you mean the darkest Toy Story film actually is a retelling of the holocaust just with children for Nazis and Aliens for allied nations fighting to save them?
- Yes this dark as black theory states that Andy represents the nations giving up the toys who represent the Jewish people to a day care which represents a concentration camp. Oh and the whole incinerator ending thing plays a large part in the theory as well. But the alien toys rescue them so they are of course the Allied nations coming to kill Hitler er.. I mean Lotso. But maybe it’s all just coincidental I mean it’s not like they try to hide in the attic like Ann Frank’s family or anyt…oh wait…
- So in summary Aliens are the United States, Woody is Jewish and wears a star and a pick fuzzy bear is a genocidal maniac and moustache enthusiast.
6 – The Shinning is Kubrick’s Confession,
- Get your tin foil hats ready because this one is going to drag you kicking and screaming into the crazy conspiracy zone whether you like it or not.
- Apparently we never went to the moon, nope it was all on a film set ala Capricorn One and the director of this grand charade was none other than Stanley Kubrick. Crazy you say? Well not if you see his clear confession littered throughout The Shinning. This includes Danny’s Apollo 11 sweater, the creepy twins being a reference to ‘Gemini’ spacecraft and the carpet pattern being the same as the rocket’s launch pads. Oh and “All work and no play” which actually is A 11 not all. Get it?
- So it’s all really super convincing that this random stuff is connected to Apollo 11 if you look at it in just the right crazy way. This one is scary just because it will make you question everything you thought you knew…