5 – Wall-e Went Rogue,
- How can that little garbage robot possibly be scary? Look at his cute little eyes and the way he collects junk. What’s the worst he possibly could have done? How about murdered all the other Wall-e units to protect his junk collection?
- That’s right this theory believes that Wall-e is defective and that’s why he saves some items instead of crushing them and as to why he is the only unit left working. He murdered the others because they wanted to destroy his trash pile! I mean jeez man was your collection of hubcaps worth almost dooming the Earth? Imagine a prequel where Wall-e is stalking and collecting body parts off all the other units just so he can finish his vintage star wars figure collection
- Then again hundreds of years of sorting through people’s used condoms and unsold Jar Jar Binks Pez dispensers would drive anyone to murder.
4 – The aliens in Signs are really demons
- What’s that? A theory that makes a Shyamalan film better? It can’t be possible, nothing could make that twist make sense. Well we better hear it.
- So Y’know how the whole aliens invading a planet that is 2 thirds water when their one weakness is water is absolutely ridiculous for an advanced species who have mastered intergalactic travel well what if they are actually demon from hell! It makes some sense with the spiritual overtones throughout the film and would have been perhaps an even better twist than the one we got. Maybe its holy water they are allergic too and Mel blessed all those glasses. Makes sense right?
- Plus demons are much scarier than aliens who can’t work out not to invade a planet full of acid. But it does raise the question over why the demons decided to use crop circles and why none of them were pentagrams.
3 – Willy Wonka and the child murder factory,
- So this one we have probably assumed since Wonka took those kids on the boat ride from hell. Oh and well just the how child negligence thing in general.
- Basically it goes that Wonka is actually a bloodthirsty serial killer using his factory tour as a smokescreen to get his rocks off by murdering children in his death traps. Think about, there isn’t a single safety sign in that whole damn factory. In fact I highly doubt there is even an Oompa Loompa in charge of OH&S.
- Then again most of the children are victims of their own faults and what’s gonna happen to Charlie then? Maybe Wonka will train him in his murderous ways instead of killing him in a future factory accidently. Either way that’s a sequel I want to see.
2 – Childs is The Thing,
- So when you end your film on an ambiguous note people will always come over it to try and find an answer. They will comb through scripts, commentaries and come to conclusions like this.
- The Thing ends with Macready just killing off what we assume is the last of the creature but here comes Childs. Unsure of each other’s identity they sit down for a drink with freezing to death as a chaser. The theory being that Macready actually gives Childs one of the gasoline Molotov cocktails to drink because maybe the thing can’t taste?
- Ha got you shape shifting bastard. Too bad Macready can’t do shit about it and this would mean that the whole film has probably been pointless as the rescue team that eventually goes there will get infected by Childs frozen body and bam end of the world.
1 – Totoro is the god of death,
- What? Another cute children’s character that is actually something terrible underneath? What is it with these theories and wanting to destroy cute things?
- This one is pretty well known and basically draws parallels between the film and a murder case called dubbed ‘The Sayama Incident’ where a 16 year old girl was kidnapped, raped and murdered. The older sister also committed suicide after the murder. While the movie features no rape and murder there are interesting parallels between the case and the film that lead to the only conclusion that the cute racoon dog is the lord of the dead.
- But imagine how much easier death would be if Totoro was the one coming to collect your soul, seriously who could say no to that face. Of course I’ll give you my soul for eternal torture you kawaii bastard.
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