5 – Hippos
- Just when you thought you were safe from cows and sharks, there’s another animal going around butchering people, the hippopotamus.
- It is reported that these chubby predators kill more people in Africa than most of the other top predators combined. They sleep all day in rivers and come out at night to eat vegetation and plot revenge. They’ve been seen dragging people into rivers, tipping over boats and straight up biting off people’s heads.
- The 6000 pound beasts might be short sighted, but they can smell your fear all the way from Africa.
4 – Falling Out of Bed
- It might not be a long drop from your bed to the floor, but falling out of bed can potentially be really fatal.
- In a single year, 58 Australians died from falling out of bed. It is more likely for the elderly to be seriously injured this way, but it’s still a risk to all of us. Who’s to say there isn’t some creature under your bed right now waiting to yank your exposed foot and pull you hurtling onto the ground to your death?
- Don’t worry, I’m sure there isn’t. But seriously, don’t leave your foot off the bed.
3 – Choking
- If you thought going out for a light lunch with your old pal Debra was a nice safe activity, THINK AGAIN.
- The odds of you dying by choking on food are 1 person in every 4400. That’s like 2000 times more likely you’ll choke on your next cheesecake than win the lottery. The foods that people most commonly choke on include hotdogs, hard candy, popcorn and chewing gum.
- So if you’re eating a hotdog in bed while smoking near a hippopotamus, you’d better watch yourself.
2 – Clothes Dryer Fires
- Almost every single day in England, this common home appliance is exploding and drastically ruining people’s lives.
- The lint in clothes dryers can very easily catch fire and explode, setting whole houses alight and endangering, or even killing families. The lint filter on a tumble dryer should be cleaned after every single use, otherwise you might end up regretting it.
- Clearing the fluff from your dryer will save lives and make your laundry day much more efficient.
1 – Fear Mongering Media
- The thing you should be most scared about is the way the media tells you to be scared about everything.
- People are more likely to read or watch things that make them scared – or things that are sexy. Things that are scary AND sexy are extra effective. So the media wants you to be worried, they want your attention.
- If you want to see a great example of someone who is great at fear-mongering – google Hitler, or Donald Trump.
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