From music for mammals to corpses that just won’t stay buried, we look at 10 weirdest news stories from around the world.
- Great Idea, Kim
- North Korea, the butt of all jokes, has recently placed a ban on their populace using sarcasm.
- Kim-Jong Un has banned sarcasm because he’s worried people are only agreeing with him ironically. Sayings like “It’s all America’s fault” have become more common in North Korea, as people mock the regime’s tendency to blame everyone else when he’s being a dick.
- I’m just relieved to find out that people in North Korea actually have a sense of humour after being scared shitless for fifty fucking years. Kudos, guys. Good luck in the work camps.
- It’s a Small World After All
- An Oklahoma woman has married her own daughter and has been crowned Planet Dolan’s worst hillbilly ever. Her trophy will arrive to her trailer in 6 to 8 weeks.
- The couple was recently arrested for incest after authorities in Oklahoma found out that the pair had wed. The mother said she thought it wasn’t a problem because her name wasn’t on her daughter’s birth certificate. As if a piece of paper makes it all ok. And it turns out, this isn’t the first gross marriage Mama’s been in; in 2008 she married to her son but he filed for divorce 15 months later.
- I really wish this was some kind of green card marriage but it looks like this mother is just the worst. Those poor motherfuckers though. And I mean that, literally. Incest, a game the whole family can play!
- Cats Reboot
- One musician-researcher realized there was an untapped market in the music industry; selling music to cats!
- He’s created music to soothe and entertain felines and after he sold 10,000 copies independently Universal Music came along and offered him a record deal. They’re now planning on making records for dogs and horses because they want to milk this cash cow before people realise they can listen to music on YouTube for free.
- It’s like the music industry they didn’t learn their lesson when they released the musical Cats. A lot of people still don’t know that Andrew Lloyd Webber was just trying to get cats into theaters but somehow it ended up being a smash hit with humans. Who’d’ve thought?
- Dial-a-Croc
- Most vandals write on walls or spray paint a car. These guys took vandalism to a whole new level.
- In Australia, police are searching for the d-bags that let loose two salt water crocodiles in a school. The men, whose faces were hidden by scarves, broke into the school overnight and left two 6-foot crocodiles into the office.
- The guys taped the creatures’ mouths shut, so nobody got hurt but I can only imagine the heart attack the poor office lady suffered as a result of these shenanigans. Only in Australia, folks.
- Corpse Ball
- Grandma, I don’t care if you are dead, get ready to dance!
- Seriously though, this Indonesian ethnic group have a festival every year where they dig up their dead relatives. The Toraja people believe that death isn’t the instantaneous end to life that we think it is. So they take their loved ones out of their coffins, brush off the dust and maggots and hang out just like old times. So what if Pop pop can’t chug beer like he used to and Gran’s arm just fell off.
- Death isn’t the end of your humiliation; that’d just be too easy.