From denim frying pans to machines which freeze chunks of your fat away, we count 10 of the weirdest things that have ever existed
10 – Jean Pan
- Finally someone has come up with a way to increase the amount of denim jeans involved in cooking by at least 100%
- This frying pan is coated in a realistic looking denim pattern to match your denim toilet seat and your endless supply of bootcut jeans. Because apparently there is no such thing as too much denim or even good taste anymore.
- You’ll be happy to know that one of these exquisite frying pans will only set you back $7.99 but will also cost all of your dignity.
9 – Smelson Mandela
- Technology is changing everything nowadays, even boring old car air fresheners.
- Now you can make your car smell like the former South African president and activist Nelson Mandela, because I’m sure he smelt particularly incredible. The freshener exclaims what we’re all thinking: “Damn Nelson Mandela, you smell so good!” And his facial expression seems to say, ‘Yeah I know it’.
- I wonder if they have any other famous air fresheners. Maybe I could get one of Ronald McDonald that smells like chicken nuggets.
8 – Glove Phone
- If holding your phone to your face is too strenuous for your overburdened millennial fingers, then why not try these Bluetooth gloves.
- The wireless gloves allow you to answer calls by speaking into a microphone in your pinkie and hearing through a speaker in your thumb. Another unlisted feature of this Bluetooth design is that it will make you look like a total fucking crazy person.
- Sure, if you live in a cold climate, I’m sure taking your gloves off to use your phone is a nuisance. But is the hassle really worth looking like a complete asshat?
7 – Picnic Pants
- If you’ve ever been on a picnic, you’ll know that wearing regular pants is just an absolute nightmare.
- Luckily, some genius invented ‘Picnic Pants’. They allow you to sit down like regular pants, only they have an in-built shelf for storing your snacks while you eat strange cheeses in public. The small, pesky, minor issue is that they look fucking ridiculous and are completely unnecessary.
- They look like they’ve got a parachute installed in case your friends decide to throw you out of a plane into the sea, where these pants rightly belong.
6 – Softshell
- So one of the weirdest things that has ever existed in the world is this extremely odd looking shell-less turtle.
- Well, technically it has a shell, it’s just creepily soft. It’s called Cantor’s Giant Softshell Taco, I mean turtle. It looks like a giant slug penis with claws and it’s incredibly endangered. You can find them sludging their weird giant bodies around the beaches of Asia.
- They’re carnivorous ambush predators, and spend up to 95% of their lives lying around totally motionless, much like your average moody teenager.