From waking up confused after a one night stand to injuring yourself chasing a seagull, we count twelve ridiculous reasons people called in sick to work!
12 – SWAT Team,
- Don’t you hate it when a SWAT team locks your entire block down and uses your car as a makeshift cover? That’s the excuse a worker gave when he called in to tell his manager he wouldn’t be coming in today.
- The Boss Man was sceptical; after all, the excuse sounded suspiciously like horse shit, and this worker was kind of a serial liar. But the worker insisted it was true, and even said there were TV cameras outside.
- But sure enough, when the manager put the local news on he discovered his worker’s claim was completely true. I guess excuses don’t get much more valid than a shootout outside your front door.
11 – Seagull Chasing Injury,
- Lots of people call in sick to spend the day at the beach, but something tells me that’s the last thing this guy would want to do.
- You see, for him, the beach is full of painful memories. That’s what he explained when he called work to inform them he’d injured himself while chasing a seagull.
- He still can’t figure out why he’s never been employee of the month…
10 – Suspected Affair,
- A worker called in sick because he believed his wife was having an affair. He told his boss he was staying home because so he could catch them out.
- Not sure how the boss felt about this overshare. Maybe he was impressed by the lengths the worker was willing to go to. “Jerry, you’re so proactive! We could really use some of that baseless paranoia at work!”
- Still, if you’re gonna call in doesn’t want to hear about all the tears, trust issues and erectile dysfunction that you call a personal life…
9 – Car Trouble,
- A young woman called in sick because she wanted to go pick out a new car.
- The crazy thing is she outright told this to her boss and made no effort to hide it. Her old car hadn’t broken down or anything. She just wanted a new colour.
- If only there was, like, a slab of dedicated free time that you could use to make such a decision… Oh yeah, there is! It’s called a weekend!
8 – Disneyland Pass,
- While on the subject of taking frivolous sick days… Most people know that important responsibilities – like your job! – come before fun activities like going to theme parks.
- But what if your annual pass to Disneyland was due to expire in exactly twenty-four hours? If you were this worker, you’d choose the Mickey Mouse ears over the suit and tie.
- By all accounts the guy had a blast, but his boss wasn’t too impressed with the explanation for his absence. Oh well. I’m sure the treasured memories will keep Mr Disneyland warm in the unemployment line.
7 – Dead Grandparents,
- To get out of coming into work, a guy told his superior that one of his grandparents had died. The weird part? He did this five times in three months. Oh, and when his manager checked the employee’s records, he discovered he’d used this excuse another three times
- The heads of the company laughed at the employee’s stupidity, and presumedly rubbed their hands together, anticipating how badly they were going to fuck him up for his deception. They called him in for a disciplinary meeting and demanded he explain himself.
- Well, err, it turned out the guy’s claims were completely true. Awkward! The employee had a very unusual family situation. After supplying birth certificates, marriage certificates and obituaries, it came to light that both his parents, and all of his grandparents, had divorced and remarried several times. This meant he had an unusually large brood, all of whom he was close with. It was just exceptionally bad luck that so many of his grandparents kicked the bucket in the one year.