12 Strangest Things Found in X-Rays

1a

6 – Toothpick Scissors,

  • Yes, that’s a pair of scissors in this person’s throat, and no, it isn’t some sword swallowing stunt gone wrong. Apparently this Chinese citizen needed a toothpick after their meal, but since none were on hand they used scissors instead.
  • It was at this moment that the person’s hilarious friend decided to tell a joke. It must have been a real knee-slapper because the person holding the scissors laughed so laugh they swallowed the scissors whole.
  • Time for a quick PSA. Everyone, you shouldn’t run with scissors, or put them inside your body. Like, seriously, if humanity gets any dumber we’re going to have start wearing bubble wrap suits whenever we step outside.

5 – Vibrator and Salad Tongs,

8a

  • You know those times when you feel frisky but you’re alone, or conventional person-to-person sex just isn’t doing it for you anymore? This unknown male patient sure does, which is probably why his instinct was to reach for his roommate’s vibrator.
  • As you can see, he obviously took his experiment too far and probably should’ve attached a piece of string to the end. Desperate to retrieve the swallowed-up sex toy, he reached for the nearest utensil he could find: a pair of salad tongs. Unfortunately, his rectum was insatiably hungry that day and he ended up losing the salad tongs as well. What a serious case of the Mondays!
  • Patients caught in situations like this often delay their inevitable trip to the ER because they’re embarrassed. However, this guy must’ve quickly realised his situation was hopeless.

4 – Python Eats Electric Blanket,

7a

  • A twelve-foot Burmese python from Idaho grew tired of eating mice and disobedient children, so decided to have a go at his owner’s delicious-looking queen-sized electric blanket.
  • The owner kept the blanket inside the python’s cage for warmth, and it’s thought the snake may have gotten confused during its rabbit dinner. It probably realised its mistake halfway through, but was like, ah well, I’ve come this far … It even ate the electrical chord and control box.
  • Life-saving surgery commenced and the snake lives on … possibly to eat a lamp or small side table come next feeding time.

3 – Cement Enema,

3a

  • Proving there’s no depths to how depraved and stupid the human race can be, two homosexual men redefined bizarre by pouring liquid cement into the other’s anus during a kinky sex session.
  • Of course, the funnelled-in cement didn’t stay liquid for long. When it hardened – nope, I will rise above that pun – it turned into a huge mass of cement and required surgery to remove.
  • I’m not sure what other possible outcome they expected, but, hey, after the weeks of shitting blood were over, I’m sure they looked back fondly on the experience. Tick that one off the bucket list!

2 – Cobblestones Swallowed During Lovers’ Tiff,

2a

  • A woman in China went to downright extreme measures to get her boyfriend’s attention during an argument. She was so upset she swallowed an impressive twenty cobblestones in a sort of bizarre attention-seeking protest.
  • The stones knocked about inside of her for awhile. She thought eating and drinking would flush the stones out, but was very wrong. Like expensive surgery wrong.
  • Oh well. Good practice for when these dysfunctional idiots have kids.

1 – Live Ammo Round in Butt,

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  • A London WW2 veteran who suffered terrible haemorrhoids used a live artillery shell to push them up into his rectum. Probably would’ve been safer to take a cue from the salad tong guy, but I guess he had to use whatever was on hand.
  • He did this a few times until one day he pushed it too far and the ammo became stuck in his anus. He was rushed to the ER to get it removed – yep, that’s a Code Brown – and admitted the shell was live and that it could explode at any moment.
  • An actual bomb squad had to be brought in to assist in the shell’s removal. I’m sure they all washed their hands afterwards and laughed about it over cake.

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