10 – Raw Cookie Dough,
- You thought you could escape egg poison by baking up some cookies? Well tough shit – raw cookie dough contains uncooked eggs and therefore the risk of salmonella contamination; in fact, you likely used more than one egg so that dough will be laced with it
- Furthermore, harmful bacteria make their way into the uncooked dough be it from dirty bowls, unwashed hands, cutting board contamination or a combination of the above
- If someone offers you a taste of some raw cookie dough, give them an unpleasant bonk on the nose
9 – Processed Meat,
- The American Institute for Cancer Research will tell you right off the bat that processed meat will riddle you with health problems
- The preservatives used to help this meat sustain its longevity is linked to cancer, with higher rates of cardiovascular disease from subjects that consistently eat processed food
- They recommend if you can’t live without hot dogs, chicken nuggets or the like to simply make your own
- Or you can ignore what they say and not change your diet even slightly
8 – Hot Dogs,
- You might think, well, it’s likely the processed meat and pure unhealthiness that makes them a dangerous food – but no
- A hot dog is perfectly shaped to slide down your breathing hole and choke you to death, which occurs more often than you think, especially in children 10 or younger
- Don’t worry though: I have built this trampoline invention that will allow the hot dog to bounce right back out of your oxygen tube
7 – Leafy Greens,
- You’ve always been taught that green food is generally healthy, but in this case, there’s a risk it’ll get you violently sick
- Before you eat any of these leafy greens, be sure to wash and dry them with paper towels, UNLESS the package claims to be pre-washed or ready-to-eat, then it should be safe
- If you wash an already-washed green, you risk spraying it with the grime and feces on your kitchen counter
6 – Jalapenos,
- This only happens to a select minority of people, but the oils may actually irritate your skin and cause it to swell up
- In this case it’s recommended to wear gloves while handling them, or at least use long tongs and a knife that can extend several metres
- Or just not use it and deal with having a non-spicy salsa