8 – Wet and Wild
- “ Hey you there. You want to take a look at my Moist property?”
- … is what Dawn Campbell from Moist Realtors would maybe ask you. They sell houses under the company name Moist Realtors.
- But seriously, Moist Realty, for when you’re moving house, but you don’t want to go in dry.
7 – House of Wine
- In a cosy little town in Sunderland, United Kingdom, you can get yourself liquor from a little shop called Amy’s Winehouse.
- I’m sure the singer who died in 2011 from an overdose would be chuffed to see local mackems getting their moonshine from her namesake liquor store.
- It’s like they always say, if you’re not going to go to Rehab, you might as well get drunk.
6 – Follicle Madness
- Do you feel like someone is always watching your scalp? Is your hair freaking out?
- Then maybe you should make a trip to Hairanoia. Yes, it’s another hair salon that has a really clever and witty name. Ughhh, we get it, you cut hair and you also have debilitating schizophrenia. Join the club.
5 – Sheds
- Watch out Sheds Of Illegal Management, China is coming to get you!
- It looks like this company forgot to consult an English speaking person before they committed to their store’s banner. If you’re out there dealing in illegal management in a shed somewhere, you better watch yourself or you might just get ‘struck firmly’ by these guys.
4 – Fast Food Book
- Everything about this company seems totally legitimate and not at all like it is blatantly infringing copyright.
- The address is in India, which is definitely where Mark Zuckerberg is from, right? I can’t think of anything less appealing than eating at a Facebook diner. Do the waiters wear hash tags instead of nametags? Is a ‘newsfeed’ a combo deal? Is Kony2012 a condiment?
- I guess we’ll never know. Or care.
3 – Taste of What Now?
- Thankfully, this restaurant chain from the Philippines is not exactly what it looks like.
- ‘Flavours of Negros’ is named after the island Negros. It may look insanely insensitive to western eyes, but to Filipino people, it’s a place where you can taste local foods from their beloved Island.
2 – Tits
- If your daughter’s boobs are unbelievably huge, I’m sorry to tell you that she’s not welcome to study here.
- The Tiny Tits School in Secunderabad insists they can give your child a strong academic foundation for their future. It must be so strong that they don’t even need grammar or a sensible school name.
1 – Dye Already
- Oh look! A hair salon with a pun in its name! It’s so funny and unusual!
- Get your hair did at the Curl Up and Dye Salon. I wish puns would stop telling me what to do. They’re not even my real Dad. But hey, the foetal position actually seems pretty appealing right now after reading all these god-awful business name disasters.
- Maybe I will just curl up and die, salon. Maybe I will.
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