15 Dumbest Criminals Ever


From criminals that send their victims a facebook request to guys that forge money in the shape of a million dollar bill, we count 15 of the lamest criminals ever to infect society with their ineptitude

15 – Lumberjack,


  • A guy casually walking down the street finds a bike chained to the tree – now, you’d imagine if he wanted to steal the bike that he’d just cut off the chain with cable cutters, right?
  • Nope, in the middle of the busy street this guy takes out his axe and decides to cut down the tree – in front of dozens of people
  • The whole time he was getting heckled, some people pushing him around – but he was determined, and after 7 minutes the tree fell, but people chased him away before he could steal the bike

14 – Book,


  • A Polish author called Krystian Bala who brutally murdered another person in the year 2000 – he wasn’t caught and he kept writing books
  • 3 years after the murder, he wrote a book called Amok in which he describes a very similar murder to the one he actually committed – a reader tipped off the police, they discovered several links to the real case
  • Krystian was caught out and sentenced for 25 years, simply because he couldn’t keep a very basic secret – but at least his book sales skyrocketed

13 – Phone Number,


  • An 18-year-old robber in Chicago tried to rob this muffler shop, but when he busted in armed to the teeth demanding money – he heard something no robber ever wants to hear
  • The money was in the safe, and the only person who could get into the safe was the manager – who wasn’t there
  • Instead of cutting his losses, this guy does the unthinkable thing – he writes down his phone number, hands it to the employees and tells them to ring him back when they have the money
  • The instant he walked out the door, the employees called the police, they rang the robber and had him walk straight back into the shop only to get slapped with handcuffs

12 – Awful Burglary,


  • This one criminal called Christopher Kron was so terrible at his profession that he actually made an instructional video on how NOT to commit burglary
  • He cites this one time he broke into a store – the alarm tripped, but he didn’t leave even though it was blaring in his ears – the security company rang the stores phone only for Kron to pick up and supply them with his REAL NAME
  • Even after all this all he stole was a couple of beer bottles, to WHICH HE RETURNED TO THE STORE A DAY LATER and was recognised by everyone that worked there – he was arrested on the spot

11 – Birth Certificate,


  • A thief that stole this woman’s purse was in such as rush that he left behind two bags, both of which contained critical information for the case
  • For some reason he’d been carrying around his own birth certificate and, just as damning, a note from his own mother
  • What boggles the mind is: if you’ve decided to steal belongings, why wouldn’t you leave your goddamn birth certificate at home or, and here’s a thought, not carry bags full of ID and forget you have them


  • Wat (43%)
  • No (17%)
  • Lewd (15%)
  • Epic (15%)
  • Creepy (10%)

2 thoughts on “15 Dumbest Criminals Ever

    1. Well, all of them are stupid, the guy with the phone number and the lady showing a police officer cocaine really stand out in my opinion.

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