From diet water to umbrella accessories designed by aquaphobics, we count fifteen head-scratchingly stupid Japanese inventions!
15 – Full-Body Umbrella,
- This highly practical but definitely insane Japanese invention is designed for those who hate to get even a single drop of moisture on them during their daily commute.
- It looks like five umbrellas pasted together, with some extra material to fill the gaps, and is held by a handle in the centre. This invention protects against torrential rain and strong horizontal winds.
- Lizard people and those with bodies made out of sandpaper would benefit most from this invention. It looks crazy now, but in ten years they might become fashionable. We’ll all be like, ‘Rain? That was so 2015.’
14 – Eye Drop Funnels,
- These eye drop funnel glasses have to be one of the most ridiculous inventions to ever sprout from a Japanese mind.
- Maybe they’d be genuinely useful for Parkinson’s Disease sufferers or something, but any other adult human who can’t aim an eye dropper directly into their eyes probably don’t deserve to have eyes in the first place.
- And just a final warning: make sure you don’t put the funnel up your nose if you’re using this. I say that ‘cause chances are if you bought this product you’re not the sharpest tool in the shed.
13 – High Heel Training Wheels,
- This one’s more like it! Look, I’ve never worn high heels, but if it somehow became socially acceptable for guys to wear them I would want a product like this to ease me into them.
- I think there would even be a few women who wouldn’t mind this so they can practise for that big upcoming social event – the Miss Universe Footballers’ Wives’ Fashion Tupperware Party 2009 … or whatever. Slap on a bike helmet and turn your kitchen into a runway. You’re a star.
12 – Portable Zebra Crossing,
- For those you hate walking the extra forty feet to actual council-approved crossings, why not pretend life is one big game of Sim City and build your own with the portable zebra crossing!
- This glorious invention gives you the power of a suburban god! Watch as cars, trucks and buses halt before your incredible makeshift crossing! You’ll be like Noah parting the motherfucking Red Sea, only with more horn-blaring.
- City-dwellers who roll out this zebra-striped carpet will be able to the navigate any built-up area, so try it today on your nearest highway!
11 – Wondrous Bra,
- For the Japanese urban farmer who wants to take eco-friendly clothing to the next level, the Wondrous Bra is a gimmicky new undergarment where rice and other crops are grown in recyclable plastic pots.
- The awesome twist is that these planters double as bra cups, so your breasts will feel well-supported. The pots can be filled with soil and rice seedlings, and the wearer waters the rice with a hose that loops around the waist, doubling as a belt.
- If anyone was going to make rice farming sexy, it was clearly Japan.