From lazy “They were the killer all along” twists to magic bullets that fix continuity we look at 15 dumbest movie endings.
15 – Hide and Seek
• If you like bland thrillers with bland twists then do we have the film for you, that one where De Niro is being stalked by his child’s imaginary friend.
• But what’s that, the imaginary friend is real? And it was De Niro all along because he’s crazy? That makes no damn sense and the filmmakers know that it doesn’t.
• How do we know that? Because there are 4 goddamn alternate endings on the DVD which each make as about as much sense as the De Niro one. These guys had no idea what makes a good thriller. Do not seek this film out just leaving it hiding, forever.
14 – The Number 23,
• Jim Carrey in a dark thriller about a book that reveals that 23 is the secret number that controls the universe? I’m sure this will end well
• Oh wait it didn’t, at all. Turns out Carrey wrote the book….his character I mean not Jim Carrey himself. Anyway amnesia is why he doesn’t remember writing it
• Well that’s a convenient explanation, sorry guys no real mystery here, it’s just that the main character did and forgot, bet you didn’t see that one coming right? Right?
13 – The Ninth Gate,
• The first of two Johnny Depp films on our list, this one is probably the least known of the two though. Maybe because this one involves books that conjure up the devil.
• The ending involves people setting themselves on fire, then sex outside a burning castle and then Johnny Depp maybe finding immortality? Kind of maybe? Its sort of just him walking into a blinding light
• The ending is really out of character for what had come before it which was a tight paranoia thriller and this ending just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
12 – I Am Legend,
• I Am Legend is based on a book that takes the vampire mythos and tries to attach scientific explanations as to the creature’s existence. The film takes this and screws it.
• Preferring to be a Will Smith action vehicle rather than a compelling science fiction, no more epitomised than in the last scene where upon realising that he has been killing thinking creatures, Smith decides to blow them up!
• The Alternate ending is a lot more interesting and involves Smith having to confront that he has been murdering loving creatures but there’s no explosion so we need to blow something up because people just want SPLOSIONS!
11 – Secret Window,
• So turns out the guy that has been stalking Johnny Depp is just a figment of his own imagination, because no one would ever really stalk Johnny Depp right?
• This ending can be seen a mile off, hell I saw it coming when I saw the trailer for this film when it came out. If anything the real twist is that he sorta gets away with it all. The last scene is a little ambiguous which is a decent change from the normal. But still this is just stupid.
• Another decent thriller ruined by a half-baked idea that by now was so cliché that it was what everyone was hoping wasn’t going to happen. Still compared to Transcendence it’s a goddamn masterpiece.