15 Dumbest Things You Can Buy Online

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From DVD rewinders to uranium you can actually buy for under $50, we count 15 ridiculous products sold on the internet right now

15 – Personal Tank,

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  • For just $20,000 you can get your hands on a five-man bullet-resistant armoured tank to ride around your neighbourhood
  • Weighing in at half a ton which makes for a daunting delivery at your local post office – it can only achieve a natural speed of 40 miles an hour with an engine likened to an electric bicycle
  • Affectionately titled the Badonkadonk, this tank doesn’t come with treads, a cannon or armour of any description – sadly, it suffers from a 100% mortality rate

14 – Foot Tanner,

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  • It always sucks when you go to the beach, and everyone’s walking around with glorious tanned feet and your own feet are a hideous pale mess
  • The solution is here though – just dump your feet in this glow box and watch the skin cancer grow right before your eyes
  • That way, when you arrive at the coroner’s office, they’ll take a step back to admire the exquisitely bronzed feet on your gnarled corpse

13 – Passenger Seat Office,

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  • You know what sucks? Walking all the way from your car into the office on Monday – oh, but wait, why leave your car at all when you can instead bring the office to you?
  • Never mind the spouses and infants, replace their passenger seat with a desk, a printer table and a place to put 4 million pens
  • And the best part is, you’re legally not allowed to use any of this equipment while driving – so the target market is: people who don’t have homes, an office, but can still afford a car and a product that exceeds $180

12 – Motorised Golf Club Cleaner,

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  • You’re playing golf, you’ve just completed an 18 course session when you realise your club is covered in nasty dirt
  • For only $25, you can get a whirring device that takes off the dirt in no time – because as we all know, getting dirt off small objects is a massive undertaking which required robotic precision
  • Or you could just use a damn rag and scrape off the dirt like every other person

11 – Hidden Bladder Flask,

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  • It always looks suss when someone pulls out a flask of booze at inappropriate times – but what does look right is when someone holds a cup to their crotch, fills it and then guzzles it all down
  • The hidden flask is great for boring social events, but also for the inevitable drug test when they ask you to pee in a cup
  • Instead you fill the cup with beer from your flask – they won’t arrest you because they’ll be too busy trying to figure out why you’re urinating pure grain alcohol

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2 thoughts on “15 Dumbest Things You Can Buy Online

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