7 – χ-Blade – Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep,
- Not to be confused with a key blade, this χ-blade is actually a super awesome weapon that’s totally not a key blade, oh no, I mean sure it looks like two key blades stuck together with a bunch of random crap coming out of it but the reality is much more special-er.
- Where key blades are man-made the χ-blade is the mystical object that summons the kingdom hear — oh would you look at that I stopped caring because it looks like what a 10 year old would think of as a cooler version of a key blade.
- The term special snowflake couldn’t be more appropriate with the green crap looking curiously similar to a snowflake.
6 – Elemental Staff – Dead Rising 3,
- Back to so ridiculous that it’s actually likeable with the traffic light where each different colour of light represents a different element that the weapon shoots out, with blue (replacing green) as ice, yellow being electricity and red being fire.
- What else is there to say other than it’s a great idea for a tongue and cheek weapon to kill hordes of zombies with?
5 – Fish Weapon – (A strangely large amount of RPGs),
- I don’t know how many RPGs I’ve seen fish being used as weapons, it’s certainly not restricted to Eastern video games as WoW has multiple fish weapons.
- I guess dumb doesn’t really describe it as well as odd, I can understand it appearing once but with the amount of appearances fish weapons have made, it’s like a meme that many RPG developers enjoy participating in.
- Then again maybe people just enjoy smacking enemies around with a giant floppy fish and I’ve been left out of all the fun due to misunderstanding and confusion.
4 – The Penetrator – Saints Row: The Third,
- Could’ve gone for the ‘Wub Wub Gun’ but somehow fighting enemies with a preposterously giant sex toy seems dumber to me.
- The size of it means that it’s either created to help pleasure Elephants or specifically designed to thwap people in the head with.
- I get that it’s the wacky theme the Saints Row games are going for and call me crazy, but it just doesn’t seem funny when it’s just a floppy purple baseball bat.
3 – Cow Launcher – South Park,
- You shoot exploding cows at people except the cows don’t explode if you hit the person, instead the person’s head would go right up its anus and if you play in multiplayer you get to see all the glory of the cow’s digestive system, specifically the colon.
- I don’t know if it’s funny as much as it is obscene in a way that makes you laugh because you can’t think of any other reaction.
- But hey, at least it does a lot of damage to the bosses.
2 – Hand Cannon – Dead Space 2,
- Not your typical overpowered revolver that shoots artillery shells, instead it’s a foam finger that shoots invisible bullets at the enemies, those invisible bullets also tend to make your enemies explode.
- Disappointing the sound effects weren’t Isaac saying ‘pew pew pew pew’ or ‘pow pow pow’ like the item description would have you believe.
- Still it’s a nice reward to receive for finishing the game on hardcore mode, it’s especially nice that they didn’t put it up as DLC.
1 – Keyboard – Typing of the Dead
- Easily the dumbest weapon out of all gaming, magical keyboards that shoot zombies when you quickly type a random set of words that the weapon arbitrarily requires you to type.
- I love this weapon, yes it’s dumb, yes it lacks logic, but the humour and utter self-awareness of the game demand something as ridiculous as this.
- I mean even the concept of the game is dumb and great, who doesn’t love the idea of typing zombies to death? Well me, actually, but it’s still a funny concept that was made great by this stupid, but loveable, weapon.
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