15 Most Dangerous Kids Toys Ever

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From guns on your belt to rockets that explode into a million pieces, we count 15 outrageously harmful children’s toys

15 – Battlestar Galactica Colonial Viper,

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  • Here we have the toy that actually started the choking hazard trend – the vehicle itself is fine, but the “pretend laser torpedo” is the problem here
  • Some 4-year-old kid shot it down his throat, possibly because he was trying to swallow the whole ship, he then promptly choked to death
  • Mattel, the producers of the toy, were sued and ever since all small toys need a bright sticker on it that says “don’t try to eat this ya fool”

14 – Creepy Crawlers,

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  • 1964, “what kind of toys do kids want these days? Oh, I know, an oven that produces unbearable, 150 degrees of skin-peeling heat – they’ll LOVE it”
  • The creepy crawler oven had little kids molding spiders and bugs out of plastic and heating them up to solidify
  • Unfortunately, it exerted toxic, deadly fumes and burnt the flesh off their hands because they could reach in at any time to fiddle with the hot plate

13 – Austin Magic Pistol,

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  • The 1950s, every kid likes a pretend pistol, but only hardcore kids can wield this explosive hand-cannon that shoots actual fireballs
  • It’s designed to propel ping pong balls by mixing calcium carbide with water, which then creates an flaming explosion, which, when you really break it down, is essentially a gun
  • Apparently in the 1950s, it was totally fine to sell children a gun – but I guess when you look at how many school shootings there have been lately – has anything really changed?

12 – Hannah Montana Pop Star Card Game,

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  • What could possibly be dangerous about a simple card game? Are paper cuts really that bad? No, try the second most deadly household toxin in existence – lead
  • These cards contained 75 times more lead than the law-permitted maximum, and even after we discovered this fact, they still hadn’t been taken off the shelves
  • Why? Because the lead was found in the vinyl, not inside paint, and thus there was a loophole in the regulations
  • Thanks Miley Cyrus

11 – Cabbage Patch Snacktime Dolls,

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  • Like something out of a Goosebumps horror novel, these dolls will mechanically chew any substance that makes its way into its mouth
  • They were originally supposed to pretend to eat plastic foods, but they soon began feasting on little kids’ fingers, and one girl who was virtually scalped along the back of her head when a doll started gnawing on her hair
  • And the most chilling part – these dolls have no off switch, the only way to stop their carnivorous rampage is the smash them into dust

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