From peeing into a public pool to fat shaming strangers, we count fifteen ways kids have embarrassed their parents!
15 – Fat Shaming,
- Kids are basically drunk little adults. You never know when they’re gonna come out with an ice-cold serve of brutal honesty. Well, according to parenting forums, it turns out most kids really like fat shaming strangers.
- One woman wrote that she would often look in the mirror, sigh, and say, ‘I’m the fattest woman in the world.’ Her kid picked up on this and, naturally, when he saw an even bigger woman at a shopping centre, he yelled, ‘LOOK MUMMY! YOU’RE NOT THE FATTEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD! SHE IS!’
- Other incidents involved a little boy pointing at an overweight women and saying, ‘Uh oh! Too many noodles!’ and a boy publicly asking if an overweight man was going to ‘fit through the door’?
- Just you wait, kids. Your excellent metabolisms won’t last forever!
14 – Gender Inspector,
- A pair of super progressive parents taught their young son the proper names for genitalia – no willies, pee-pees or doodles at this dinner table!
- When the boy was three years old, he started pointing at people and saying ‘penis!’ for males and ‘vagina!’ for females. Mum and Dad tried to stop him, but you know boys will be boys… Penis…
- One day while shopping they were served by an ambiguous-looking cashier. The little boy looked at the cashier and said, ‘Penis or Vagina? Which one?’ While his parents were melting into a pool of embarrassment, the cashier explained that she was a girl. The boy responded, ‘Oh, vagina.’
13 – Stall Antics,
- Apparently all sorts of hijinks ensue when kids enter a public restroom.
- One parent took her son with her into a bathroom stall, only for him to shout, ‘Who’s farting so loud in this bathroom!? Oh my god! I have to get out of here!’
- Another recalled how her two-year-old liked tickling the toes of strangers in the next bathroom stall.
12 – Going to Hell,
- When’s the worst possible time for your child to declare that they love your breasts? If you answered ‘during church’ you win!
- During a sermon, a five-year-old decided to upstage the vicar by announcing that he loved his mother. The congregation promptly went ‘awwww’, but the kid wasn’t done.
- He then put his hands on her chest and shouted, ‘And I love your boobies!’ Worshipping from home probably looked real good after that.
11 – Mummy’s Lightsaber,
- A seven-year-old with two mums brought his parents’ lightsaber to school for show and tell.
- Unfortunately, he didn’t realise that the small sword-shaped object wasn’t a lightsaber; it was Mummy’s special glow-in-the-dark double-ended dildo!
- Mmm, yes, the awkwardness is strong in this one.