5 – Urinal Hot Drink,
- For most people, a urinal is a receptacle for peeing into, but in Romania it’s a delicious hot cranberry beverage!
- Does this mean it’s brewed up in a big toilet bowl? Who knows? But at least it isn’t lemon flavoured…
4 – Barfy Burgers,
- Food businesses, if there’s one thing that will really kill your customer’s appetite it’s drawing a comparison between your product and vomit.
- That’s the mistake Barfy Burgers make. Is it made from barf? Will it make you barf? Who knows. Just don’t ask what’s in the secret sauce…
3 – Finger Marie,
- ‘Finger Marie’ sounds like a crude instruction, but it’s actually a brand of Rich Tea Biscuit by biscuit company McVities.
- Finger Maries sell extremely well in Sweden, the land of tall blonde perverts, but they aren’t for sale at all in their native England. If they did, supermarkets would probably become full of schoolboys pointing and giggling at them.
- It would also piss off a lot of women named Marie, so probably the right call.
2 – Fresh Cemen Dip,
- Throwing a party? Don’t forget the Cemen Dip! It’s a spicy garlic spread that would go really well with some Homo Sausage.
- Cemen Dip can be found in Turkish supermarkets – with the refrigerated dips, not with contraceptives and pregnancy products. Its name translates to tomato, but no one cares about that because in English it means jizz!
1 – Jesus Body,
- Using a religious icon to flog your product is bad enough, but the truly head-scratching thing about ‘Jesus Body’ Herbal Cinnamon Extract is the description on the box.
- It reads: “New discovery to be kept secret from others. I can lay it down because I am correct. We will not make you sorry. Pleasure to have the real thing. I really long for this.”
- I’m not exactly sure what I’ll get if I buy Jesus Body, but I’m a little turned on.