From shoving all manner of disgusting things in your vagina to wearing condoms made out of shell we look at 15 weirdest forms of birth control found in history
15 – Lemons,
- When life gives you lemons then life certainly is trying to tell you not to have children any time soon apparently.
- Dating back to at least the 1700s, it’s widely been believed that the citric acid in lemons would kill any sperm that found their way near it. Women would insert a round slice of lemon into themselves as a diaphragm.
- This was also the method said to have been used by Lothario Casanova, meaning it obviously wasn’t a mood killer to turn to your lover and say “do you mind shoving this fruit inside you?”
14 – Olive Oil,
- Forget cooking and using it on the frying pan, this is oil is for being used on a different type of eggs.
- Going back to ancient Greece, the oil would be mixed with Cedar oil and then used as lube during the lovefest. Observing that the oil slowed down sperm allowing the women a better chance of effectively using a douche.
- While still used today as a natural lubricant in sex just don’t try to double up with a condom because the oil will cause it to break open. You don’t want to have a kid whose the product of accidental condom-olive oil break do you?
13 – Moonlight,
- Wait that should actually be “stay out of the moonlight” because it’s moonlight that impregnates you. Wait what?
- Yep according to the native residents of Greenland, the Moon is what gets women pregnant so you need sleep on your stomach or/and spit on your belly to create a barrier for the moons baby making rays.
- Jeez we need to educate the kids about this, it has to be why there are so many teenage pregnancies. Too many kids sleeping in the moonlight without spitting on their stomachs must be the only logical reason.
12 – Vinegar Soaked Sea Sponge,
- Good old vinegar, always there for us from going great with fish and chips to helping teach kids about volcano eruptions…and then something else involving kids and “eruptions”
- Much like lemons it’s been believed historically that Vinegar is a spermicide and the Hebrew Talmud details that if a woman is too young to survive having a child you should go fish out a bit of Sea Sponge and add Vinnegar.
- Of course you should probably do more research on how effective this would be before running out to the beach to get some sea sponge for your junk.
11 – Wolf Urine,
- Going back to the times in medical history between prayer being the cure for everything and leeches being the cure for everything, Wolf urine was the cure for not-wanting-a-kid-it is.
- The procedure involved the woman going outside straight after sex, finding where a female wolf had peed and then peeing over that spot while possibly saying an incantation.
- As would guess this form of birth control was super effective and is probably still used today by some crazy wolf people. At least it didn’t call for the wolf urine to go inside anyone’s privates.