5 – Weasel Testicles,
- Wow history has way too many instances of thinking that more testicles are the answer to stopping sperm from making it to the egg.
- But at least this method doesn’t involve drinking the testicles, instead you need to take two weasel testes, wrap them up in cloth, tie them to the thighs of the woman and presto instant sperm blocking force field.
- The method was so popular in the dark ages that merchants would sell weasel testical amulets so that you didn’t need to go and rip an animals balls off every time you wanted some nookie.
4 – Mercury,
- Oh liquid metals, everyone’s favourite terminator building material that will give you brain damage also can make you sterile. Win Win.
- Used in China at one point women would take swigs of the metal to stop any unwanted foetuses taking residence in the womb however it’s pretty safe to say that ingesting the poisonous metal didn’t do wonders for your health.
- Along with sterility and brain damage you would experience kidney failure along with any children you end up having looking like Robert Patrick.
3 – Blacksmith Water,
- Speaking of drinking metallic liquids apparently it’s widely known that metal is the natural thing to kill off foetuses and no one told me.
- First recorded as being used again in ancient Greece, this would involve women drinking the dirty water that had been used to cool off freshly made swords. But no one knows why people decided that chugging the equivalent of toxic waste was a great idea.
- Amazingly this belief held until WW1 where women reportedly would volunteer in factories to get access to those sweet precious toxic metal waters. Ugh.
2 – Lysol,
- So we don’t even need to go back far into the past to find the stupid things people have been sticking into other people’s genitals to stop children from happening.
- This remedy from the 1900’s was actually advocated by the producers of the antibacterial product themselves as an effective douche. At the time birth control was illegal in the United States so having some Lysol meant not only was your house clean but also child free.
- Of course sticking cleaning chemicals in your vjayjay is not a good thing and there were 193 case of Lysol poisoning that included chemical burns to the vagina. Along with 5 people dying from it. At least we don’t live in an age where not wanting to have a kid has a good chance of killing you.
1 – Coca-Cola,
- Soda kills teeth so it must do the same for potential babies’ right? Is there anything coke can’t do?
- Well the last in our list of putting terrible things in your vagina comes the world’s most famous soda that became a douching method in the 1950’s. With women shaking up bottles of soda and letting them erupt into their birth cannels.
- Thinking that the sugar would kill any sperm making their way into the womb, this was of course not going to stop any child from being born. But they probably grew up to have very bad teeth.