5 – Doorman
- This is a superhero that sounds like a joke on paper, but when you really think about you realise it is a joke
- Doorman can teleport people anywhere in the world they want to go, but only if it’s into the next room over
- Which is useful under one scenario – someone can’t get into a room because it’s locked or something, the rest of the time Doorman just sits around waiting for someone to ask him to move somewhere slightly, which can be nothing but a highly-sought after profession
4 – Ulysses Solomon Arher
- This guy was involved in an accident that ended his brother’s life, where his head was crushed and now he seeks revenge on the trucker that did it
- His superpower comes from the new skull, the amazing situation-changing ability to pick up CB radio transmissions
- He used his radical power to hunt the truck driver and the comic ended after 12 issues and so ended the glorious saga of this guy that can pick up radio which he could do with various gadgets anyway
3 – Maggot
- This guy is like the Hulk, but unnecessarily handicapped by the fact his digestive system consisted of 2 slugs, and the only way he could acquire his super strength is for the slugs to leave his body, gather nutrients and return
- Other superheroes can, y’know, summon great strength by thinking about it, but I guess waiting for your slug intestines to slurp up some power juice works too
2 – Bouncing Boy
- A kid that can inflate himself to such a point that he becomes like an elastic bouncy ball
- For a long time, other superheroes though him a pointless waste of space until one day, ho ho, he proved them wrong
- He could, in fact, bowl over enemies with his great bounciness and thus prove himself on par with Batman and the rest – clearly
1 – Arm-Fall-Off-Boy
- His name accurately describes his power – to tear off his own arm and beat up enemies with it
- That’s it – that’s all he can do, his superpower is essentially a disability
- A lot of children these days strive to be like Superman or Batman, but every so often a kid comes along and says, “when I grow up, I want to tear my own arm off and club people to death with it”
- Which is admittedly better than turning to drugs
LINKS
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http://popcultureaddict.com
http://dorkshelf.com
http://listverse.com
http://www.popculturemonster.com
http://smellslikeinfinitesadness.com
http://www.heavy.com