From pokemon that hate children with all their might to pokemon that women enjoy ‘frolicking’ with, we count 20 of the creepiest pokemon of all time.
20 – Grimer,
- ‘Wherever Grimer has passed, so many germs are left behind that no plants will ever grow again.’
- This can only make you wonder what would happen if a human were to even touch these germs, I’m guessing that dysentery or at the very least gastro is inevitable without cleaning your hands with bleach.
19 – Darumaka,
- ‘Darumaka’s droppings are hot, so people used to put them in their clothes to keep themselves warm.’
- I cannot imagine a situation that could happen where I’d consider putting some animal’s shit into my clothes for warmth, maybe if it were a life or death situation, but even then that’s some nasty practices.
18 – Snubbull,
- ‘It has an active, playful nature. Many women like to frolic with it because of its affectionate ways.’
- There’s no undertones of bestiality here, nope definitely not, no one could possibly interpret ‘frolic’ as anything dirty, but hey at least it’s an attractive looking, bull dog thing… or whatever it is.
17 – Kadabra,
- ‘It happened one morning – a boy with extrasensory powers awoke in bed transformed into Kadabra.’
- Wow, so if you happen to have any level of ESP and you’re also a child, there’s a chance that you’ll turn into a pokemon? Who in turn gets captured and enslaved, possibly by one of your friends? Dark, much?
16 – Drowzee,
- ‘If you think that you had a good dream, but you can’t remember it, a DROWZEE has probably eaten it.’
- ‘It remembers every dream it eats. It rarely eats the dreams of adults because children’s are much tastier.’
- So these anteater things go running around at night, breaking and entering children’s homes, stealing their good dreams and leaving without a trace? Sounds like the Pokémon world is one worth living in.
15 – Lampent,
- ‘The spirits it absorbs fuel its baleful fire. It hangs around hospitals waiting for people to pass on.’
- Good news everyone! There’s an afterlife after all, just make sure to stay away from Lampents or they’ll steal your soul, fantastic. I just hope it’s not an eternal spirit kind of thing and you’re trapped inside a Pokémon’s body, unable to move, until it dies.
14 – Glalie,
- ‘Glalie has the ability to freely control ice. For example, it can instantly freeze its foe solid. After immobilizing its foe in ice, this Pokémon enjoys eating it in leisurely fashion.’
- Well I guess this is a case where I’d rather have darumaka poop all over me than being eating by an Ice, metal, rock thing that immobilises me instead of killing me before having me for dinner.
13 – Honedge,
- ‘If anyone dares to grab its hilt, it wraps a blue cloth around that person’s arm and drains that person’s life energy completely.’
- Imagine a little kid wandering around the backyard when all of a sudden he sees a sword, he then quickly grabs it and oh hey that kid is now dead because it was actually a Pokémon designed to trick people into touching it.
12 – Banette,
- ‘A doll that became a Pokémon over its grudge from being junked. It seeks the child that disowned it.’
- Great so if a one year old no longer likes its toy it turns into an evil ghost thing and wants to find the baby that threw it away and what, kill it I assume? Maybe it’ll only eat its soul, that would be reasonable.
11 – Haunter,
- ‘Haunter is a dangerous Pokémon. If one beckons you while floating in darkness, you must never approach it. This Pokémon will try to lick you with its tongue and steal your life away.’
- Another evil Pokémon designed purely to do one of two things, scare children from reading the pokedex or make children so scared that they’ll do anything Nintendo wants.