21 – Destroy,
- Every young boy just wants to have fun, as long as it has nothing to do with those icky girly things, such as kittens, dresses and flowers; especially flowers, I mean damn those things are so girly it just makes you want to destroy them.
- Well, actually, that’s not necessarily a normal response to coming across a flower, maybe just leave the poor thing alone? Or at the very least you shouldn’t look so happy about destroying it.
- Although it could also be the fact that he simply wishes to destroy everything in existence, if that’s the case his happiness is totally justified: who doesn’t get a smile on their face from the thought of destroying reality itself?
20 – Breaking out of the Grave,
- Death is an unavoidable consequence of life, everything that comes to be must also stop being, or in layman’s terms: if it breathes it will stop breathing.
- So it’s no wonder that this child has issues coming to terms with the inexorable crawl of death and what may or may not come after it.
- Or Graham’s parents just really like The Walking Dead and figured that letting their son watch along with them would have absolutely no consequences whatsoever.
19 – ‘Wrestling’,
- Ah yes, the ages old ‘no I swear it, we were just practicing our wrestling moves, nothing adult was going on here, nothing. At. All.
- Seriously though, maybe you should double check that your son is sleeping before you get all kinky on that shit.
- Also, does his dad call his partner ‘Bich’? Like there’s a few ways you could read that out loud, I’m just hoping it’s not the first one that came to my mind since ‘Bitch’ seems far from an appropriate word to call your partner around your son.
18 – I <3 Satan,
- Well obviously the radical religious types were right, them vidya james and TV shows are brainwashing our youth to worship the unholy being best known as ‘Satan’.
- We need to start indoctrinating our children to know of the ever loving holiness that is Dolan.
- Or they’re just getting Santa and Satan mixed up.
- Just kidding that’s a cop-out, these kids are completely fucked in the head.
17 – Dancing on Mummy’s Grave,
- Mummy and Daddy have had many disagreements over the years, but now that she’s gone I hope that we can be civil about our past ordeals.
- Or instead we could just dance on that bitch’s grave, because she was such a horrible person that couldn’t do anything right, I mean, she refused to wrestle with Daddy that one time and that’s why she had to go.
16 – I Collect Her Hair,
- All young people show their love in differing ways: I for one hid in the bushes while she walked to school and that was completely fine back in my day, or at least that’s what gramps taught me.
- But this kid went way too far, collecting someone’s hair without their permission crosses the line and it makes everyone involved super uncomfortable.
15 – Being Bashed to Death,
- Nothing is going wrong in this kid’s life, obviously everyone’s been bashed every now and then and if it occasionally got to the point where one of our peers got bashed six-feet underground then that was their fault, right?
- On the other hand, this could be the result of a broken home with an angry parent hurting their child, which is totally fine: if they don’t get punished they won’t learn proper.
14 – Atheism,
- If you’re not with us, you’re against us; this line of thinking has no logical flaws whatsoever, so it’s no surprise that when this kid found out that their teacher doesn’t believe in Jesus they immediately assumed that they would go to hell.
- But in all seriousness, how does this kid even know that their teacher is an atheist? I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this teacher wears a fedora with pride and euphoria.