25 Dumbest Names Parents Have Given Their Kids

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From dated pop culture references to painful misspellings, we count 25 of the dumbest names parents have given their children! Is your name on here?

 

25

ESPN.

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In 2007, television sports super fans David and Karen Hartle voluntarily named their son ‘ESPN’ after being inspired by others who had done the same. They originally planned to name him ‘Reed ESPN’, but when he was born he looked more like an ESPN – whatever the hell that means.

God help the kid if he sucks at sport…

 24

Alucard.

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Like an a la carte breakfast, but it’s actually ‘Dracula’ backwards. Sorry, parents, but vampires are so 2009. It’s werewolf mutant sheepdogs now.

23

Billion.

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What does it say about our priorities that we’re naming our children Cash, Rich – not short for Richard – and Dollar?

Well, as of 2014, we’re now taking the money references to the extreme and calling kids Billion, Million and Amillion. I guess at least Billion can be nicknamed Bill or Billy.

Obviously Billion is going to win in a schoolyard fight against Million, but it’s anyone’s fight when that tough new kid Trillion moves in from out of the town.

22

Hashtag.

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Isn’t this tweet… In 2012 – a year that saw the birth of children named after Kindles, Gangnam Style and Steve Jobs – this mother lowered the bar for all of society by naming her baby ‘Hashtag’, implying she spent the length of her pregnancy staring at her iPhone.

Funnily enough, she posted Hashtag’s birth announcement on Facebook, which, at the time, didn’t even support hashtags. #FAIL!

21

Pawk.

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This name sounds like a pinball machine sound effect, or someone from Brooklyn trying to say ‘pork’. Needless to say, I balk at it! I’m sure the schoolyard bullies will too.

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