From questionable questions about incest to bizarre statements that don’t make sense, we count 30 google auto-completes that proves Google thinks we’re dumb.

30

• Ever jump and hear water? I know I have many different times. I’ve also blinked and heard the ocean, skipped and seen god and fallen over and smelled freshly cut grass.
• Then, of course, there’s the other auto complete ‘when I jump I wet myself’; I’m sure bladder control is a serious issue to those that lack it but why would you announce this problem your search engine? Are you hoping incontinence can be cured without visiting a physician?

 29

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  • So when you type ‘is it wrong’ Google automatically assumes you want to know whether or not incestuous relations are a bad thing or not… Yeah. I don’t even know where to begin.
  • Well really this question just proves two things, there are a lot of perverse people on the internet (shock horror) and internet connectivity is actually really common in rural country towns.

28

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  • Firefox is one of the most popular browsers on the net, this is in part thanks to the fact that it’s open source software, meaning you can look through all of the code the developers have written.
  • I guess when anyone and everyone can look at your insides you might feel unstable and crash spectacularly if you don’t get some cuddles.

 27

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• • Cats are well known for being pro-abortion, not even pro-choice, just pro-abortion, they want to thin the human population as much as possible.
  • I mean, what other possible reason could there be for this to be in Google auto-complete?

26

• Oh yeah, put that thick white fluid all over your kid, that’ll teach him to not rub the lotion on his skin when you tell him to.
• Anyone that searches this is automatically put into the NSA’s potential child predator list and is given free entrance to a psychiatric ward of their choosing.

25

• What did you pretend to be when you were a kid? If you answered meat ball you are the kind of person that Google thinks is the norm.
• There’s no two ways around this, it’s weird and bizarre; unlike pretending to be a piece of spaghetti, which is completely normal and please stop judging me for identifying as a tubular string of pasta.

24

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  • This makes me wonder what possible scenario could exist in which you would have to specify that dinosaurs do not, in fact, kick infants.
  • It almost sounds like a passcode that spies would use, or maybe it’s a quote from a movie or something, in which case I’d like to question what narcotics the screenwriter was consuming when writing this out.

23

• Next up in the news, a new wave of paranoia apparel has spread across the fashion industry: tin foil hats that have the ability to google are available at any store near you that isn’t run by the CIA or Illuminati.

22

• A lot of people really don’t understand how technology works and this is empirical evidence supporting such a statement.
• I mean sure, if you set up your PC so it can be turned on through the internet this can happen, but I have a feeling the people Googling this phrase are oblivious to such methods and their possible uses.

21

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  • But it’s okay because next I ate a wick and a lighter so it will melt away, I just need to wait for a while and enjoy breathing out the smell of sandalwood and lavender.
  • However, I am a bit concerned that the flame will singe my stomach, I guess I can drink some Pepto-Bismol to help with that though.

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