30 More Ridiculous Real Newspaper Headlines

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From a leopard hooked to pot to pleasuring oneself in a library, we count 30 more ridiculous newspaper headlines.

30.

25

“Hospitals resort to hiring doctors”

The second headline just explains there are a shortage of physicians and there needs to be some kind of move. Nothing else.

29.

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“Lawyers back despite use of bug spray”

A prosecutor’s office was sprayed with pesticides after a swarm of wasps invaded the space, which is what the article was about. Maybe the person who wrote this headline could’ve mentioned the invading insects instead of the bug spray.

Yeah, those pesky lawyers will ruin any camping trip or barbecue.

28.

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“A deputy responded to a report of a vehicle stopping at mail boxes. It was the mailman.”

There are no words that can describe what a line like this is doing in a news article. Do people not know what a mail truck looks like? Even if the mailman was out of uniform and driving a personal vehicle to deliver mail, it still doesn’t seem newsworthy enough to include in a newspaper.

27.

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“So far, they have determined that the crash occurred when the plane struck the ground…”

This line of an article was probably the result of the reporter either hurrying to meet a deadline, or was just bad when it came to explaining events.

This line of an article was probably the result of the reporter either hurrying to meet a deadline, or was just bad when it came to explaining events. Despite how funny the line may be even though they’re reporting on a plane crash, it is possible the plane crashed into something midair.

26.

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“Leopard hooked to pot, but not stoned”

This article, about a young leopard that wandered into a village and got its head stuck in a water pot, said that nobody approached it or harmed it – including throw stones.

This article, about a young leopard that wandered into a village and got its head stuck in a water pot, said that nobody approached it or harmed it – including throw stones.

But seriously, if you don’t think the pun in the headline is funny, seeing a leopard with its head stuck in a pot has to be.

25.

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“Being bullied? Just act less gay, advise teachers”

Unlike many headlines on this list, this particular one is exactly what teachers at an unnamed school told students to do to lessen their chances of being bullied. How… supportive.

Messages like these make you wonder why bullying and being gay are such issues these days.

24.

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“Woman missing since she got lost”

It sounds like the writer of this article was given a word count to aim for by the editor, and just added a few unnecessary words. “Woman Missing” would be a good headline, because it would capture the reader’s attention, plus sums up the article well.

23.

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“Fish need water, Feds say”

While it’s unclear what this article is about, it still sounds more like a line you would find in a children’s book instead of a newspaper.

And, in recent news, water was found to be wet.

22.

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“City Council runs out of time to discuss shorter meetings”

The city council for Laguna Beach, California, were tired of adjourning their meetings in the early morning hours. Part of their agenda was going to be a discussion of holding shorter council meetings, but it appears as though other important issues came up.

Sounds like the real issue here is newsworthiness, thanks to a possibly slow news day.

21.

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“Clinton licks Beavers”

This article about a high school basketball game, where Clinton High School defeated the opposing team known as the “Beavers”. They could’ve used a different word than ‘licks’, such as ‘beats’… though now it sounds like an article about animal cruelty.

 

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