7 Crazy Prison Escapes That Shouldn’t Have Been Possible

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From contortionist prisoners to conman convicts, we look at 7 Crazy Prison Escapes That Shouldn’t Have Been Possible.

  1. Texas 7

FILE--Prison inmates Joseph Garcia, Randy Halprin, Larry Harper, Patrick Murphy Jr., Donald Newbury, George Rivas, and Michael Rodriguez, in these undated Texas prison handout photos, escaped Wednesday, Dec. 13, 2000, from the prison near Kenedy, Texas. Capital murder charges were filed against all seven convicts, who remained on the loose Monday, Dec. 25, 2000, for the Christmas Eve killing of Irving, Texas, Police Officer Aubry Hawkins, 29, during a sporting goods store robbery. (AP Photo/Texas Dept.of Criminal Justice, File)

  • The Texas 7 were a ramshackle group of prisoners that managed to escape a maximum security prison.
  • By pretending they wanted to work through their lunch hour, they managed to overpower a number of guards and some fellow nosy prisoners. Many of the people they overpowered were lured to a deserted maintenance area and then boop, were bopped on the back of the head. Impressively, while escaping, the inmates didn’t even kill anybody. Just tied them up like damsels in a silent movie.
  • Some of the prisoners dressed as guards, storming a tower before stealing some weapons. Then they phoned the other guard tower to create a diversion. The others dressed in civilian clothing, pretended to install security cameras. When the staff were thoroughly convinced, they hid in the back of a stolen maintenance pick-up truck, picked up the guys in guard uniforms, and drove the truck off into the sunset. Unfortunately, after a month on the run, these stealthy Texans were finally apprehended. These cowboys rolled the dice and somehow won, but only temporarily.
  1. Korean Houdini

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  • A man nicknamed the Korean Houdini managed to escape prison by squeezing out of the food slot in the door of his cell.
  • A mere 5 days after Choi Gap-bok had been arrested for robbery, he was squeezing out of his cell door like it was a tube of toothpaste and his 50-year-old Korean body was the minty fresh gel. His secret? He’d practiced yoga for 23 years. You’d think with 23 years under his belt, he’d have learned a useable skill, like sucking his own dick but no, he learns how to break out of jail. Pffft useless.
  • So while the guards were asleep, he used body lotion to lube himself up and slide on through the food slot. “It rubs the lotion on the skin, or else it stays in Korean jail!” Choi managed this feat in just 34 measly seconds. Unfortunately though, Choi was caught after six days on the run. I say unfortunately because I really wanted this guy to join a circus or something awesome.
  1. Frank Abagnale

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  • Ever hear of Frank Abagnale? He was a con-artist so convincing he should’ve won an Oscar.
  • So it’s fitting that he was played by Leo DiCaprio in the 2002 hit, “Catch Me If You Can”. Now get this: This conman even managed to con his way out of prison. Thanks to some bozo forgetting Frank’s paperwork, he managed to convince the guards that he was in fact an undercover prison inspector. This meant he got the best food and was always looked after. After weeks of building trust with the guards, he had an accomplice create a business card for him from the Bureau of Prisons.
  • The card had a phone number on it which rang through to Frank’s accomplice posing as an FBI agent. When Frank was allowed to visit with his accomplice outside the prison, they hightailed it the fuck out of there. And he would’ve gotten away with it too if it weren’t for those meddling cops. This conman extraordinaire was spotted after he walked straight past an unmarked police car.

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