8 Ridiculous Things Banned By Governments

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From teddy bear protestors to naming your kid Hercules, we look at 8 ridiculous things banned by governments.

  1. Toy protests

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  • In Mother Russia, they don’t want to ban their citizens from protesting. But teddy bears and Barbie’s having their say is completely out of the question.
  • In 2012, Russia brought in a law that all protests needed to be pre-approved by the government. This meant that if you wanted to say “Our politicians are a bunch of dicks” the government would just deny your request and possibly send you to the gulag. So the public responded by lining the pavement with teddy bears and Lego men holding banners making all the complaints citizens weren’t allowed to.
  • So like any rational government, they banned toys from holding protests. What grounds would they have to enforce such a ban? In Soviet Russia, toys can’t say “Down with Putin” because they aren’t real citizens. Good thinking guys.
  1. Scrabble

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  • Nobody likes to be reminded that they suck at Scrabble. But nothing says sore loser like banning the game all together.
  • Back in the 80s, the Romanian president did just that. He said that Scrabble was “too intellectual” because being able to spell is surely tantamount to treason. Romania was set on being number one for illiteracy and preferred their populace to play games that made you too tired to think too hard or plot a revolution.
  • Thankfully, the ban was eventually lifted but it became a gateway game and a heap of Romanians got really into Monopoly shortly after. Scrabble; not even once.
  1. Camouflage clothing

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  • On the beautiful island of Barbados, wearing camouflage is a big no-no.
  • Other than bringing the law in because camo pants are hideous, it was also brought it to prevent people impersonating military officers. Apparently a bunch of people were committing crimes while dressed in camo gear because people were much less likely to question you. “Oh what, that dude’s stealing a car! Oh no wait, he’s in the army, must be on official business.”
  • However, I maintain that they’re terrified camouflage material will develop to a point where it’s more like a Harry Potter invisibility cloak. Then robbing banks would be easy peasy. Too bad Harry Potter didn’t go that route, would’ve made for a much more interesting franchise.
  1. Reincarnation

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  • In China, you better not be planning on getting reincarnated without supplying the proper paperwork.
  • This ban was an attempt to pull rank on those rebel Tibetan monks and force them to recognize Chinese government as the boss of them. But if someone doesn’t see you as their boss, I doubt demanding paperwork from them is gonna make them take you more seriously.
  • If a toddler demanded my tax return, does that mean I respect their authority? And how exactly do you enforce a law like that? They’ll probably just drool on it, forget where they left it and go back to watching Yo Gabba Gabba. Damn unreliable infants.

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