8 Tinder Horror Stories

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From murderous stalkers to the reason you shouldn’t do ass play on the first date we look 8 Tinder Horror Stories.

  1. Shotgun Sally

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  • Most of us have had that Psycho Ex before and now dating apps can put you in touch with them faster than ever!
  • This unlucky fellow met a lovely lady on Tinder and everything was going well until she started making jokes about killing him. “Oh Bobby, I could just murder you and eat your liver with fava beans”. That kind of stuff I’m guessing. And then she brought up the shotgun she keeps in her bedroom.
  • Romeo didn’t stick around after that and of course to show how sane she was she started stalking him, eventually showing up at his house, banging on the door and windows. Scaring the shit out of him, she did end up leaving so I guess she didn’t bring her shotgun otherwise this would have a different ending.
  1. Second Cousins

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  • With today’s online anonymity and the prevalence of hook up culture, let this always be a lesson to make sure you know who you are banging.
  • This unlucky guy matches with a gorgeous girl and two hit it off straight away. They talk a while and everything is going how would expect until they add each other on Snapchat. He gets the add from her and notices that her last name is the same as his mother’s quite rare maiden name.
  • So after a few probing questions on the matter they work out they are second cousins…and then never talk to each other again. So let this be a warning, always make sure you aren’t about to send a dick pic to a family member.
  1. The First Timer

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  • Taking a person’s virginity is usual a painful and awkward experience, even for same sex encounters.
  • Our female victim found herself a 10/10 bi-curious girl who had only been with guys. They go out, get tipsy and start to get it on buuuut this where the awkward comes into it. The newbie starts to prod her fingers into her vagina in a feeble attempt at fingering, but her insane acrylic nails start to do exactly what you’d expect down there.
  • After telling her to be a *little* gentler she breaks down in tears with the whole “I’m not ready” stuff. The next morning our victim goes to pee and it’s burning like the surface of the sun. Turns out the fake nails had done enough damage in there to give her a UTI.
  1. The Asshole

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  • Most people would have encountered the most common horror story on Tinder, matching with an asshole.
  • On way to their date, this poor girl receives a message from him saying that he’s already there and that he’s ordered her salad. Now that’s probably the part where she should have ditched because he did this just assuming that’s what she wanted.
  • He then spends their dinner talking about his Ex (who’s a model) and how great it was fucking her. And to cap it off after she had told him she didn’t like smokers, he bums some off a stranger and chain smokes all night. If only Tinder had tags for dickheads this could be avoided.

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