8 Worst Babysitters


From stoner stalemates to kidnapping kids, we look at 8 of the worst babysitters.

  1. Joint Custody


  • This babysitter seems to have been made from the teenage dreams of every pubescent boy on the planet.
  • After assuming the rug rats were asleep, this babysitter decides to Cheech and Chong it up with a fat joint. And of course, like every stoner’s paranoid nightmare, she gets busted by her 12 year old charge.
  • A quick thinking lass, she struck a deal with the boy; she would flash her boobs in return for his silence. He hastily agreed and became king of the 6th I can’t decide if this chick is one of the worst babysitters or if she’s just making use of her assets. Can I just admire her resourcefulness, while pretending to be judgmental?
  1. Peanut Butter Cut


  • After struggling to open a jar of peanut butter for some time, this babysitter gave up and tried gently tapping the glass jar on the bench.
  • That tactic failed; the jar was now open but with broken shards of glass all over the kitchen bench. Still, this trooper of a babysitter doesn’t give up when the chips are down. She makes everyone’s sandwiches anyway.
  • Unfortunately the shards of glass were also IN the actual peanut butter and all 3 children suffered a series of wounds to the insides of their mouths. Suffice to say, that babysitter never worked for them again but I’m sure she learned her lesson: always buy plastic jars.
  1. Wine-y Child


  • When a single mother left her four young children with their usual babysitter Tammy, she was worried about leaving them but had little choice.
  • Later in the evening the grandmother dropped past to take over the babysitting duties and found the youngest child unconscious and unresponsive. Her grandson was rushed to hospital.
  • The one year old had a blood alcohol level four times the legal limit, for adults! Surely the only way his little body could handle that amount of alcohol is by having some kind of Irish heritage. It took police three days to locate Tammy. She was charged with first degree cruelty to a child and reckless conduct. Hopefully in jail she’ll meet some drinking buddies her own age.
  1. Tattooed Babe


  • Lee Deitrick is the epitome of avant garde babysitting.
  • Instead of simply feeding and changing the one year old in his care, Lee went above and beyond his duties by giving the infant a tattoo. On her tiny-hiney he put the letter A. Nobody’s quite sure why, maybe it was a signature of some kind, A for Asshole. Or he was trying to give her a leg up on learning the alphabet.
  • In court Lee’s lawyer argued that nobody could prove the mother hadn’t agreed for him to tattoo the infant. He was officially charged with child endangerment. And unofficially charged with making that kid look badass. I wonder if Lee is doing gang ink in jail, or if he’s being inked against his will in some kind of karmic payback.


  • No (41%)
  • Wat (29%)
  • Creepy (13%)
  • Epic (9%)
  • Lewd (8%)