9 Dumbest Kids Playgrounds Ever


From obvious death traps to slides designed by deviants, we count nine creepy and inappropriate playgrounds that will scar your child for life!

9 – Russian Terrors,


  • Russians are kind of known for being intensely serious, and I think we may have just discovered why. It turns out their children’s playground equipment is the stuff of nightmares!
  • Some of these are just strange and surreal interpretations of classic Russian children’s characters. But others were just cheaply made and left to deteriorate. Over time, they’ve become the perfect horror movie locations.
  • I wasn’t expecting to find rainbows when I pulled back the iron curtain, but man some of this shit is terrifying! “You will play and you will have fun! For Mother Russia!”

8 – Penis Park,


  • If you think childhood innocence is worth preserving, keep your kids as far away as possible from this suggestive playground equipment.
  • That wascally playground designer, Pedo Pete, is at it again! This time he wants you to slide down, hang off and climb on his favourite dick-shaped constructions.
  • By far Pete’s favourite is this beautiful climbing sculpture. To the untrained eye it looks like a phallic Christmas tree lit up with every STD under the sun. But to Pete it’s a work of art.

7 – Creepy Playgrounds,


  • Different countries have different standards about what’s acceptable for kids. But I can say without hesitation that only a fucking madman would approve these.
  • I mean, what part of ‘severed monkey heads’, ‘demonic gargoyle’ or ‘giant child-eating witch’ made for acceptable playground proposals?
  • You just know the kids who were dared to go near these things after dark were never heard from again…

6 – Titanic Bouncy Castle,


  • Every kid loves a good bouncy castle. But why settle for ordinary-themed ones, like Disney or Ninja Turtles when you can pay tribute to 15,000 dead people instead?
  • The Titanic-themed bouncy castle takes one of history’s most tragic disasters and transforms it into hours of slipping sliding fun!


  • Creepy (40%)
  • Wat (23%)
  • Lewd (16%)
  • Epic (11%)
  • No (10%)