9 Embarrassing Sex Stories

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  1. Cheer leaders

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  • This couple thought they were being discrete in the boudoir but found out the hard way that sound travels further than they thought.
  • The guy’s family was downstairs and so they tried to keep their lovemaking noises to a dull roar. When the bedhead started banging a little against the wall the couple realised they could hear cheering coming from downstairs.
  • At first he thought his family was watching some kind of sports match, until he realised they were cheering and yelling “GO! GO! GO!” in perfect unison with the bed head smashing against the bedroom wall. Well at least his family are supportive.
  1. French Connection

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  • Meeting your partner’s parents can be awkward at the best of times and it doesn’t help when they’re already against you.
  • It was the first time this girl was meeting her French lover’s mother and she’d been told that the mother didn’t think anyone was good enough for her son. Assuming they had the house to themselves for a while the couple started fooling around on the couch. That’s when the boyfriend suggests trying to put the narrow end of a champagne bottle in his lady’s ass. Of course the mother barges in right as the kinky act is happening. Panicked he pulls the bottle out.
  • But the bottle wasn’t the only thing that came out as a long piece of brown poop decided to join the party too and fell onto the couch giving a new meaning to shit happens.
  1. Sad and Floppy

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  • Out on a date, this guy tells his new lady friend that every time he has ever had sex with a woman, it’s only been the once.
  • She’s tells him “that’s weird, you’re so cute.” After half an hour of attempting to fool around her confusion clears. Turns out the guy didn’t know your long john had to actually be hard before putting it inside a vagina.
  • Repeatedly whacking her thighs with his sad droopy penis. And asking her why she wasn’t putting it inside her. After trying in pity to slide it in and failing, she quickly made an excuse to get out of there. How this can happen in the day and age of internet porn, I’ll never know. Like the floppy disk, this guy’s sex life is non-existent.
  1. Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Strap on

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  • One day two lovely ladies were fooling around with a vibrating strap on.
  • After thrusting with a little too much gusto her partner’s elbows slid out from under her and she hit her head on the headboard. She fell to the floor and was knocked unconscious. Panicked, conscious gal runs into her Mum’s room for help, all while still naked, wearing only her vibrating cock. By the time they return to the bedroom her girlfriend is dazed but conscious, staring meekly at them.
  • That’s one way to come out to your Mum. There’s no staying in the closet after she sees you in your best strap on ladies.
  1. Plastic Sheets

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  • When the most attractive girl at the club takes the chubby guy home you know something isn’t quite right.
  • Getting back to her place he sees the mattress is covered in plastic but he figures “Hey it’s probably just new”. The two get at it but during she puts a finger where his sun doesn’t shine but feeling adventurous he doesn’t stop her. Then he notices an immense pain in his stomach followed by his bowels unleashing a river of stanky shit all over the bed. Mortified, he runs to the bathroom and puts on his clothes in a hurry. Returning to the room to apologise he finds his lover rolling around in the liquid excrement.
  • Figuring that she must have slipped him a laxative when her fingers were getting familiar with his butt. But despite the laxative, it was the look of pleasure when she was rolling around in poop that really scared the shit out of him.

 

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One thought on “9 Embarrassing Sex Stories

  1. I will never understand the modern society these days, liquiphilia, chasmophilia WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLES MINDS

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