9 Shocking Attempts to Rewrite History

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From making artists sound more romantic to changing pretty much everything about World War 2, we look at 9 shocking attempts people made to rewrite history.

  1. China Ended WWII

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  • Put away all that talk about Hiroshima and Nagasaki, see what actually happened is that China were the ones to stop Imperial Japan from taking over the Pacific.
  • Or at least that’s what was recently said by President Xi Jinping at a military parade celebrating the victory over the Japanese. While 15 million Chinese died during Japan’s invasion that lasted 14 years, the rest of the world would agree that nuclear bombs played more of a role in ending the war.
  • Many have seen this as an attempt this as an attempt to rewrite history in order to foster more nationalism in China, it’s not like a google search can’t prove their president wrong….oh wait.
  1. Van Gogh’s Ear

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  • You’ve probably heard a little “romantic” story about how Vincent Van Gogh was so crazy in love with a woman that he CUT his EAR off for her.
  • Yeah that one is pure BS, Van Gogh more probably cut his ear off and gave it to a prostitute because he was drunk. Not as romantic, ew…I hope it wasn’t supposed to be a form of payment.
  • Though it’s also possible that Van Gogh didn’t cut the ear off himself either, losing it in a duel with fellow painter Gauguin. Either someone tried to rewrite history to make Van Gogh seem like a crazy romantic rather than just artist crazy.
  1. War of the Worlds

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  • Remember being silly people were in the past because they went into a mass panic over a radio broadcast of “War of the Worlds”?
  • Man that sure made old timey people sound stupid, so it’s lucky for them that it never goddamn happened. Newspapers reported the mass hysteria but independent fact checking at the time showed that small audience who tuned in knew it was a real alien invasion.
  • This would be because the station played disclaimers before every ad break and…well because people aren’t that damn stupid. Newspapers only played up the whole thing so that they could bag out their new competition… the radio.
  1. The Pink Swastika

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  • How could the Nazis commit such terrible crimes against humanity? Well that’s easy, they were evil because they were all raging homosexuals.
  • So says the 100% historically base book “The Pink Swastika” that can be basically summarized as “Hitler was totally gay guys, I can’t prove it at all but that means all homosexuals are bad”. The book also tries to explain away the Nazi party murdering homosexuals by basically saying they only killed feminine men.
  • Oh right so Hitler was some kind of masculine power top that just had it out for twinks and crossdressers. We’ll explain away bigotry with even more bigotry.
  1. The History of the USSR

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  • If you lived in The Soviet Union during the Cold War then history was less history and more “shit made up to make communism look better”.
  • The “official” history of Russia started being meddled with as soon as early as 1918 but really started to get messed up after WW2. Corrupting history to paint a different picture every day of the week served the important purpose of allowing the government to justify anything they did.
  • Most notably the party wanted to hide things like “The great purge” where the secret police went around torturing people for “anti-soviet activity”. Because stuff like that really gets people down about your leadership.

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