9 Worst School Punishments Ever

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From teaching kids they shouldn’t burp in class to a new use for frozen vegetables we look at 9 Dumbest School Punishments.

  1. Sent to Fake Prom

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  • What happens when your school’s teachers are horrible bigots who want to punish you for being gay?
  • Well they send you to fake prom because fuck lesbians. Itawamba county student Constance McMillan took her school to court after they denied her and her girlfriend the right to attend prom. She won and the school was told to stop being dicks.
  • The school though decided nah and hosted a fake prom in a near-by town. The fake prom was attended by the principal and 5 other students while the rest of the school was partying at the “good” prom. Oh and two of those other students had learning disabilities. This guy is just waiting for his “Principal of the Year” award.
  1. Arrested for Burping

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  • You better be careful next time you feel something rumbling in your stomach because burping might land you in jail.
  • Alright well not jail…just juvie. In 2011, an Albuquerque student was taken away from school in a police cruiser all because he had the GOD DAMN audacity to burp in gym. So the teacher called the cops and had him hauled down to be tested at juvenile hall.
  • The police quickly determined the kid was not a problem but they probably should have worked that much earlier. I mean did the teacher call 911? “Hello, yes a I need you put this monster in handcuffs, HE’S BURPING EVERY WHERE!”
  1. Being Hit for Hitting

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  • Sometimes to discipline a child you just gotta give ‘em a taste of their own medicine…but not if it means punching kids in the face.
  • This Texas teacher knew that if she hit a child she’d get fired, so she lined up the other students and encouraged them to punch their 5 year old classmate in the face. Why? Because he punched a classmate in the face, so a black eye for a black eye right?
  • Well no that’s not how it works. You can’t teach a kid not to hit by getting them beat up. “Did you learn your lesson, Billy? You hurt anything and I’ll mother fucking end you”….the teacher was later fired.
  1. Police warning for overdue library books

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  • Why the hell are the police so eager to go and scare the hell out of little children? Jeez no wonder no one trusts law enforcement.
  • This unlucky child had her school call the police because she had a few overdue library books. Seriously? Like was this just a slow crime day? Oh not to mention the kid was 5 god damn years old. FIVE…
  • So the police gave her a warning that went like this…“What’s that you like reading little Julia, well cut that the fuck out right now or we’ll put you in the slammer!”…this is why literacy rates are falling.
  1. Arrested for having a plastic knife

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  • Oh boy don’t let the school catch you with that plastic food court knife either because then your ass is going to jail for sure.
  • In Florida, schools have taken the while ‘zero tolerance’ thing to mean “if it has a sharp end your child could kill us all!” This was on display when a school had an 11 year old girl arrested for carrying a plastic butter knife in her school bag.
  • Again why are the police playing along with this…I mean are there no real crimes happening in Florida?


  • Wat (41%)
  • Lewd (21%)
  • Epic (18%)
  • No (13%)
  • Creepy (8%)