Ridiculous Arcade Games

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6 – The Tablecloth Hour,

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  • You know that party trick where you set up a table (cloth, plates, cups and all) and then pull the table cloth out at just the right speed, at just the right angle and all the cups and plates stay pretty much where they were without spilling anything?
  • Well Japan has made an arcade game out of it, for some reason.
  • I’ll admit I’d play this if I saw it, but I’d only do so once and then never again, the only thing about the table cloth trick is that it’s somewhat impressing, but getting a high-score in this won’t impress anyone and it’s almost certainly not very fun.

5 – Wall Street,

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  • No it’s not based on the movie and it’s not a number crunching maths based game either, it’s a game where you try and catch suicidal stockbrokers as they jump out of windows from the umpteenth story.
  • But then it gets weirder, afterwards you run around maze-levels as a stock broker shooting lightning bolts from your hands and collecting money and girls.
  • This just reeks of an idea made from having a little too much fun with illicit materials, if not then I fear for the creator’s sanity.

4 – Marine Catcher,

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  • Those claw games you see all the time where you get stuffed animals are kinda shitty, I always feel like it’s less about skill and more about the machine choosing to let me win and even when I do win I get a 40 cent plushy toy that I didn’t really want anyway.
  • But luckily Marine Catcher fixes that last part, instead of getting more clutter, you can catch some dinner in the most unorthodox way since dynamite fishing.
  • That’s right, this crane machine includes live lobsters for you to catch, of course since the crane moves so slowly and the lobsters move fast it’s almost impossible to catch them.

3 – Tsukkomi Yousei Gips Nice Tsukkomi,

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  • Slap stick comedy is one of the earliest types of comedy, it’s right up there with fart and penis jokes, but for the first time you get to play a slap stick comedy game!
  • The hapless man watching the machine you play on needs to get slapped by you in order to proceed through the game, how do you lose you ask? I don’t have a clue, maybe not slapping him hard enough or something?
  • There’s very little in the way of information about this game in English, I’m not even certain I have the right name for it, but either way I know enough about to know that I have no clue how it’s a game people would want to pay for.

2 – Cho Chabudai Gaeshi,

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  • Also known as Super Table Flip, it’s based on a Japanese… thing, where if a person, usually a father, gets angry he flips the dinner table over ruining it for everyone.
  • Miyamoto described this as an old fashioned Japanese father act of destroying a family, so naturally you want to turn this into an arcade game right?
  • Obviously it’s not made by Miyamoto himself, but still, it’s an utterly ridiculous game that not even the Japanese enjoy playing.

1 – Boong-Ga Boong-Ga

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  • This game is made by South Korea, designed for Japan, so obviously it involves turning your fingers into the shape of a gun and shoving it up an animatronic anus.
  • But that’s not all it includes, you can also slap that arse, and that’s actually it, that’s the entirety of this game, anal fingering and butt spanking.
  • Then at the end of the game you get a card that rates you on, and I quote this, ‘sexual behaviours’, people who do especially well get a small plastic poop.

 

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