15 Worst Parents Ever

15b

5 – Seven-Year-Old Receives Birthday Boob Job from Mother,

5c

  • Self-described ‘Human Barbie’ Sarah Burge has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on cosmetic surgery. She believes life in plastic is fantastic and has recently created controversy for forcing these views on her seven-year-old daughter.
  • For her seventh birthday, Poppy received the gift all upper-class little girls dream of: nope, not a pony; a $10,000 voucher for breast augmentation surgery!
  • Poppy had been begging for a boob job for months, so receiving the voucher – and all its accompanying self-esteem issues – was like getting that new hot toy everyone wants.
  • The voucher can be legally redeemed at sixteen. For Poppy, that day can’t come soon enough. ‘I can’t wait to be like Mummy with big boobs,’ she said. ‘They’re so pretty.’
  • In the meantime, Sarah is teaching Poppy how to pole dance.

4 – Parents Pimp out Teen Daughter for Car Repayments,

4b

  • A Georgia couple pleaded guilty to making their fourteen-year-old daughter engage in sexual activities with a used-car salesman so they wouldn’t have to make monthly payments on their second-hand minivan.
  • Sandra Davis was sentenced to eight years imprisonment after admitting she’d encouraged her daughter to trade sex for van payments.
  • Sandra’s husband James and a sixty-seven-year-old used-car salesman named Robert Bearden pleaded guilty to molestation – and to being supreme dirt bags. They each received ten years’ jail-time.
  • Police learned of the sick arrangement during an unrelated investigation and the three were prosecuted in 2010. Good work, guys.

3 – Drunk, High Dad Leaves Baby in Oven Overnight,

3c

  • A Kentucky man put his five-week-old baby in the oven and left him there overnight.
  • After getting high at work, Larry Long returned home to share a fifth of whiskey with the baby’s mother, Brandy Hatton. (Haha, Brandy drinks whiskey.) When Brandy retired for the night, Larry got rip-roaringly drunk, finishing the entire bottle.
  • The next morning, Larry awoke to his baby screaming from inside the oven. Luckily, the door had been left slightly ajar and the oven was off.
  • Showing a slither of decency, Larry called a mental health hotline to confess what he’d done, and the operators referred the incident to police. The baby was swiftly removed from the irresponsible parents’ care.

2 – Woman Kills Baby for Interrupting Game of Farmville,

2a

  • A young Florida mother pled guilty to killing her baby son over a game of … Farmville.
  • Alexandra V. Tobias said her three-month-old child, Dylan, refused to stop crying while she was trying to play the popular Facebook time-waster – I mean, casual game. Angered, Alexandra shook the baby, then left to have a cigarette. What was it with this needy infant? Why couldn’t it understand her virtual crop compulsion?
  • Calm and refreshed, Alexandra returned from her cigarette break and … shook the baby again – this time killing it.
  • Alexandra was convicted of second-degree murder and sentenced to fifty years in the slammer. Hopefully her crops withered.

1 – Father Rapes and Imprisons Own Daughter,

1a

  • In 2008, Elizabeth Fritzl told Austrian police she’d been repeatedly raped and held captive for twenty-four years in the hidden basement of her family house. Her sick captor was none other than her father, Josef Fritzl.
  • Elizabeth was raped and physically assaulted literally thousands of times, resulting in the birth of seven children and one miscarriage. Four of the incest-born children were also forced to endure this horrific imprisonment.
  • Josef Fritzl was finally arrested in April 2008 and sentenced to life behind bars. Good riddance, arsehole!

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